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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The New "L Word" is "Lindsay"

Posted by El Keter ben Tzadik

All her bullshit aside, I dig that Lindsay Lohan can finally admit she and Samantha Ronson are a couple. I also like the open-minded spin she put on her own admittedly ambiguous sexuality.

"I appreciate people, and it doesn't matter who they are, and I feel blessed to be able to feel comfortable enough with myself that I can say that."

I still don't want to watch her movies. But I like her superstar DJ squeeze. And I'm geeked someone in her position feels so safe treating sexuality as the fluid thing that it is so publicly.

Posted at 02:07 AM
Filed under — Back-Fence Talk

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Infantilistic Apparel

Posted by R-Uh

I suppose it was only a matter of time before Hypercolor came back but only Dov Charney would think of using it as a sexual thermometer.

Orlando Bloom? Is that you? You look ~~hot~~ like a douche.

Posted at 04:51 PM
Filed under — Back-Fence Talk

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

No Butterscotch Stallion! NOOOOOOO!!!

Posted by Add-Mmm

The news of Owen Wilson's attempted suicide came as a surprise to me. I'm slightly disgusted with myself because whenever I think of his work, the first movies that come to mind are 'Wedding Crashers' and 'You, Me and Dupree'. Don't get me wrong, these movies have their moments but because I'm a snobby artist I much prefer his roles in such movies as 'The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou' and 'Bottle Rocket'.

I don't think that the genre of film that a person stars in has a direct correlation with their mental chemistry; I couldn't make that argument considering that a lot of shitty actors that have starred in both good and shitty movies have either attempted suicide or have succeeded... at suicide.

So I guess the news of Owen Wilson's attempted suicide was alarming because I've discredited his acting career due to the undesirable roles he's played. I do think Owen Wilson is a good actor. He displays character conviction and seems to adapt the script in a certain way that transcends the written role. He has the ability to play a range of characters, each with the same convincing presence. Suicide wasn't anywhere on my radar for Owen Wilson and I think that his roles in mainstream movies were the deceptive culprits. Basically, I didn't think anything was wrong because he looked happy in the movies I remembered him being in. Yeah... I'm simple. But I remembered that we're all acting to a certain degree and perhaps the facades we use to represent ourselves do more harm then good. If we don't truthfully convey who we are and if we're disloyal to our convictions then we are essentially only deceiving ourselves and the people who care about us.

I understand that there are a lot reasons why people put on these acts. Some people act vulnerable in order to get what they need or at least what they think they need. Other people put up a "tough" persona in order to avoid being vulnerable, an act I'm certainly guilty of. I like to think that if we allow ourselves to be honest with our opinions and emotions then we could avoid many of the conflicts that plague us. On the other hand, I know that allowing ones self to be vulnerable is one of the most difficult things to do. But if we limit or even worse, completely detach ourselves from our emotive outputs then we're asking too much of the people around us to look past our facades in order to understand and ultimately help us.

Perhaps Owen Wilson is guilty of hiding his true feelings. Or perhaps he was trying to tell us something was wrong by being in 'Starsky and Hutch'. The world may never know.

Posted at 11:24 AM
Filed under — Back-Fence Talk

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Lindsay Lohan's Revenge!

Posted by El Keter ben Tzadik

20-year-old actress, party-girl, tabloid-favorite, and noted "firecrotch," Lindsay Lohan was "arrested" on "suspicion of drunk driving" after she crashed her Mercedes (her third accident in two years) into a curb in Beverly Hills this weekend.

A small "usable" amount of a substance thought to be cocaine was also found in the car during a search, they added.

The actress, who spent time in a rehabilitation centre in January, was arrested but not held in custody.

Instead she was transferred to a hospital to receive treatment for minor injuries.

Two other people were also in the car with Lohan when the incident occurred, involving no other vehicles, police said.

Lohan sustained only minor injuries in the accident, and nobody else was reported injured. Police have not indicated when, or even if she'll officially be taken into "custody."

On a related note, Spank Rock and Five Deez member Pase Rock has released a new 12'' single featuring Santo Gold, Spank Rock, and Holiday Thug, titled "Lindsay Lohan's Revenge," about Lohan's much-publicized pantiless public appearances last year. Peep the video (only if you're not easily offended or grossed out, it's totally NSFW, and pretty gruesome) below.

The "Lindsay Lohan's Revenge" 12'' EP, backed with "Sexy MF" (featuring Amanda Blank), is out now on the independent Fully Fitted Records label.

Posted at 03:51 AM
Filed under — Back-Fence Talk

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Halle's Havin' a "Monster Ball" With This One

Posted by Lady Glock

Halle Berry got a star on the walk of fame just in time to promote her new movie 'Perfect Stranger' which also stars Bruce Willis.

Now the real question is...which angle is better? Angle 1....

Or Angle 2?

(You know she got that star for 'Catwoman')

Images borrowed from Defamer and DListed.

Posted at 12:35 AM
Filed under — Back-Fence Talk

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

She stopped swallowing

Posted by Iron Giant

Ugh. I made that joke. Too easy. But for reals, what the hell, Jenna? Jenna Jameson was once a smokin' hot lady. I remember when she had a "make-under" in Jane magazine once and I couldn't believe how pretty she was. Plus she had a body. Well apparently she's had a little work done and has also decided to starve herself half to death. She posted on her MySpace yesterday explaining that her weight loss is due to her divorce and stress and yada-yada. Whatever her excuse is, she needs to figure that crap out. She may have made her millions with her body, but she also used to seem like she had a brain. And I liked that clever, fiesty Jenna. Not this Posh Beckham rip-off. Seriously, look at those ankles! Gross. And I actually mean gross, not like when I say it but I'm secretly wishing I were that thin. I really mean it with this one (I think).

Posted at 02:56 PM
Filed under — Back-Fence Talk

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

30 Seconds to Uranus... hehe

Posted by Iron Giant

Oh Jared Leto, you are so slimy and disgusting. You aren't ever giving up the eyeliner are you? What happened? Did Ed Norton succeed in destroying something beautiful? I mean, sure, your eyes have always been a little too close to one another for comfort, but you were once cute. Remember when we found out that you couldn't read? Oh how I wanted to hook you on my phonics, but now... *sigh*. Here's some pics from 'Purple' magazine (is that some rag that I'm not hip enough to have heard of? or is it the 30 Seconds to Mars fan newsletter?). Do not look at these while eating.

And also, speaking of 'Fight Club,' a bunch of folks at the 30 Seconds to Mars show in El Paso, TX were kind enough to beat Jared Leto down, broke his nose, and other stuff. Homeboy is 35 years old and was beat up by what I'm assuming was a bunch of 15 year olds. But, to be fair, they were probably scared shitless of the undead, haggard, prissy, hipster who stagedove at them. If it had been me I probably would have been bashing him in the head with a pool cue to Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now" (I got 'Hot Fuzz' on the brain).

Posted at 07:43 PM
Filed under — Back-Fence Talk

Monday, March 05, 2007

"I AM THE ANTICHRIST!"

Posted by Emeyesi

The "Official Countdown to Britney Spears Impending Death" has begun!

I suppose it began quite some time ago, but Miss Spears kicked it into overdrive this weekend as she made another attempt on her life while holed up in a rehab clinic.

In a week of rehab madness the bonkers beauty wrote the number of the beast, 666, on her shaved head before running round the clinic screaming "I am the Antichrist!" at frightened staff.

"Later that night she tried to kill herself," a friend told us. "She attached a sheet to a light and tied it around her neck. Paramedics were called, but luckily she was unhurt."

Her pal told us: "She is still very vulnerable. Last Saturday she said she had the number 666 written onto her bald head. She was crying, and shouting, 'I am the Antichrist!'

"The clinic people just didn't know what to do. Then she started screaming, 'I'm a fake! I'm a fake!' It must have been really frightening. When she tried to hang herself it was more a cry for help."

I don't see her holding out much longer. A nice late Spring overdose is what I am predicting.

Posted at 01:03 PM
Filed under — Back-Fence Talk

Saturday, February 24, 2007

They tried to make Britney go to rehab

Posted by El Keter ben Tzadik

Instead, she lip-synced an Any Winehouse song.

Posted at 11:21 PM
Filed under — Back-Fence Talk

Note: 'Locks of Love' does not accept horse hair.

Posted by Add-Mmm

Guess she should have asked that beforehand...

I concede that it's absolutely old news at this point but I'll be damned if I didn't finally get this little Photoshop project finished. Yes... it's Britney Spears with her gloriously asymmetrical dome looking suspiciously similar to Corey Feldman's character in 'Friday The 13th : The Final Chapter'. Perhaps her recent "shearing" wasn't a mental breakdown induced by Red Bull and narcotic cocktails but rather an act of preparation for a part in some sort of remake of a classic in the 'Friday The 13th' series?

Posted at 10:44 PM
Filed under — Back-Fence Talk

Friday, December 15, 2006

But I'm A Cat Lover a.k.a. At Least I Didn't Molest A Pie

Posted by Lady Glock

Forget Britney. Forget Lindsey. The prize for best piece of celeb gossip I have heard yet goes to wild child Natasha Lyonne.

Actress Natasha Lyonne, the star of "American Pie" accused of threatening to sexually molest a dog, turned herself in at a New York court on Friday.

A bench warrant was issued for her arrest in January after Lyonne, who has also appeared in "Blade," and "Scary Movie 2," missed four court hearings.

The 27-year-old faced a number of charges including criminal mischief, harassment and trespassing after accusations she threatened to sexually molest her former neighbor's dog and ripped a mirror off the wall during a 2004 argument.

At the Manhattan Criminal Court appearance, drug counselor Heather Hayes said Lyonne had completed an in-patient drug program in February and continued to attend outpatient rehabilitation groups.

Molesting a dog? Now, I would have LOVED to be the fly on the wall for that discussion. Natasha, please please kick the habit...and eat something for goodness sake!

Posted at 11:00 PM
Filed under — Back-Fence Talk

Friday, May 19, 2006

Britney can't multitask for shit!

Posted by Emeyesi

I mean how hard is it to hold your fat baby?

While you are pregnant?

And holding your drink?

She's lucky she hired the cowboy from The Village People to be her manny.

Posted at 09:00 PM
Filed under — Back-Fence Talk

Friday, April 07, 2006

IT'S A BABY!

Posted by Emeyesi

Photos of Daniel Edwards' 'Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston' have been floating around online for weeks now, but I wasn't in much of a rush to blog about it because no one had a picture of the sculpture's ladyparts.

I mean that's fantastic. A sculpture of a naked Britney Spears on all fours on a bearskin rug? Sweet. But where is the picture of her cooter?

Well it's right here. Finally.

That has to be the biggest clitoris known to man.

If the pics just don't do it for you feel free to head over to the Capla Kesting Fine Art gallery in Brooklyn, NY. The exhibit opened up tonight.

Posted at 08:48 PM
Filed under — Back-Fence Talk

Sunday, November 27, 2005

You can find him in da ( gay ) club

Posted by El Keter ben Tzadik

And on 'GQ' magazine's "men of the year" list.

But mostly in da gay club.

Posted at 06:52 PM
Filed under — Back-Fence Talk

Monday, May 10, 2004

She's not that innocent...

Posted by El Keter ben Tzadik

BEHOLD... the boobies of Britney Spears!

Posted at 09:07 PM
Filed under — Back-Fence Talk

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