[16:51] ***************: omg,i had this dream i almost fucked you.
[16:52] elketerbentzadik: lol
[16:52] elketerbentzadik: you're strange
[16:52] ***************: ...your dreads were cut off,and your friend Mike was watching.
[16:52] elketerbentzadik: hahahaha
[16:52] elketerbentzadik: you're really strange
[16:52] ***************: and when i asked why you cut them,you just laughed.
[16:52] ***************: and then i had to put a condom on you.
[16:52] elketerbentzadik: did you eat a meatball sub before you went to sleep?
[16:52] ***************: ...even though you already had one.
[16:52] elketerbentzadik: double condom?
[16:53] ***************: yes.
[16:53] ***************: lol
[16:53] ***************: and then like,every time i looked at you you turned into John Mayer..
[16:53] elketerbentzadik: :-|
[16:53] ***************: and your cock wasn't yours..it was some other dude's.
[16:53] ***************: Not Johns..
[16:53] ***************: lmao
[16:55] elketerbentzadik: meatball sub?
[16:55] ***************: I woke up before I started having sex with you.
[16:55] ***************: no
[16:55] ***************: i had...
[16:55] elketerbentzadik: booooooooooooo
[16:55] ***************: nothing.
[16:55] ***************: I woke myself up.
[16:55] elketerbentzadik: you're a character
[17:00] elketerbentzadik: character
[17:05] elketerbentzadik: so...
[17:05] elketerbentzadik: how's it hangin'?
[17:19] ***************: It was fucking odd.
[17:35] elketerbentzadik: you're tellin' me sister
[17:37] ***************: Although,I'd probably bang you.
[18:20] elketerbentzadik: nuh-uh
[18:42] ***************: i said probably.
[18:54] ***************: I must find you attractive if I had a dream about you.
[18:54] elketerbentzadik: awesome
[18:54] elketerbentzadik: probably attractive
[19:00] ***************: lol
[19:24] elketerbentzadik: blammo
[19:24] elketerbentzadik: double condom phantom cock
[19:39] ***************: lmfao
[19:39] ***************: Mike,your friend was watching.
[19:40] elketerbentzadik: yeah, he's a pervert
[19:40] ***************: And the condom was really stretchy.
[19:44] elketerbentzadik: stretchy double condom phantom cock
[19:44] *** Auto-response from ***************: I am not responding to messages right now.
[19:44] elketerbentzadik: you only respond to me...
[19:44] elketerbentzadik: in your dreams
[19:45] ***************: ? lol,what?
[19:49] ***************: It was all lubed and gross and shrink wrapped looking.
[19:50] elketerbentzadik: hahahahaha
[19:50] elketerbentzadik: mmmm, sexy
[19:51] ***************: Your true cock looks so much better.
[19:51] elketerbentzadik: awww, yay!
[19:52] ***************: I think I've been horny all day.
[19:52] ***************: Masturbated twice...still horny.
[19:59] elketerbentzadik: i read "mustard rice and corny"
[20:01] ***************: lmao.

It's an extremely rare occasion that I actually remember much about my dreams. It's also pretty rare that I take a nap rather than commit myself to serious sleep. But I've been sick the last few days and the sickness has left me exhausted. So, this afternoon I took a nap. And surprisingly enough, I actually dreamt during my afternoon nap. Even more surprisingly I even remembered portions of the anomalous naptime dream!

My dreamtime adventure was lengthy and convoluted, as dreams often are, branching out into multiple threads mired in bizarre abstraction. Most of the actual "storyline," whatever it may have been, was lost to me upon waking to the sounds of 'Seinfeld' re-runs on television. But I do remember the most important part, and that is that I totally made out with comedian, actress, political activist, writer, broadcaster and cutie, Janeane Garofalo! I have no idea why Ms. Garofalo entered the dream in the first place or what part she played in the "story," but she was there, passionatly pressing her lips to mine again and again!

And oh lordy was she ever a good kisser!

During my high school days I was in this band called The Classy Guys. It was comprised of three girls and myself. I was the drummer. Elisha was the bassist, Krissy was the lead singer/guitarist, and Colleen was the rhythm guitarist. We played cute little rock songs. It was a fun time. My sentences are short. Krissy wasn’t really manly at all but she did possess some dominantly machismo personality characteristics. Elisha was this super-talented, friendly, pixie-like girl who was great to talk with over a cup of coffee. Colleen was focused with her life and although cared a lot about playing music had other things that were more important in her life.

Last night I had this dream…

I was in my undergraduate architecture studio. It was the end of the road for me because I had graduated (actually happened). So like the end of every semester I went into the studio and started throwing out shit I didn’t need and packing up all my good materials. Then outside my studio in the long corridor, I heard a very familiar voice. It was Krissy my old band mate. Mind you, in reality I hadn’t seen any of my old band mates in five years so it was a big shock to see her outside my studio of all places. She had already walked by so I ran out to catch up with her. From behind I saw that she was decked out in a bandana, a black leather coat, blue jeans, and biker boots. When she turned around I was shocked to see that she had grown a finely trimmed beard that wrapped delicately around her mouth but she was still a very pretty girl underneath it. I accept people when they change and although it came as a big surprise I still just went in and gave her a hug. But it was weird when we went in to kiss each other on the cheek. The edge of her moustache tickled my face upon contact and for some reason when I got close, her neatly trimmed beard looked all haggard and her face was all nasty and pimply like it was a close-up in a Ren and Stimpy cartoon.

So after that horrifying reunion she and I continued down the hall. We were going to Elisha’s wedding of all things, and it was in one of the art studios. When we got to the ceremony it looked fairly typical for a wedding. I didn’t know a lot of the people. In my dream I assumed it was all the people the made friends with over the years. But for some reason they all seemed to know who I was and they were so happy to see me. One of the people who I didn’t know but was totally happy to see me was Colleen. But Colleen didn’t look like Colleen at all. She also looked like some drag king except that she was a drugged and haggard looking shell of what she used to be. She was wearing a really tight tube dress that was made of a shiny gold material. Her hair was a rats nest of a mess and her eye make-up was laid thick around her eyes. It looked like she had been following around Iggy Pop for the last five years. The wedding was starting.

Elisha came in and looked like your typical pretty bride. She wore her hair short and it was tinted dark red. She looked happy. As the wedding started I noticed that her groom wasn’t anywhere to be seen. But as she walked toward the altar, he suddenly appeared. I didn’t know who he was. Now I can’t say for sure if I’m remembering the rest of my dream correctly so I’ll just say what I do know what happened for sure. At the exchange of the vows, Elisha all of a sudden rips off the bottom of her dress and is now in what appears to be a shiny silver rocker coat with big puffy arms as it if were straight from the 80’s. She then breaks into this awful 80s-esque song. I don’t know if it was supposed to represent her wedding vows or what but it was weird. I don’t remember what the song sounded like. Actually I’m pretty sure that I didn’t hear the song at all because I was totally taken aback by the complete freak show that was unfolding before my eyes. So this recital of the vows/dated song started turning into a music video. Elisha was getting more intense with her performance and was leaning forward with a mic in her hand looking all Lita Ford with her bad self. So then the priest and her soon to be husband start this knife fight like it was all of a sudden a Michael Jackson video. Anyway shit unfolds and the song ends and the priest removes his foam latex face and it’s Elisha’s eclectic and slightly effeminate younger brother. Then the crowd turns to the groom and he too is pulling off a mask to reveal that he is Elisha’s older brother.

This is where I wake up…

I have no idea what the hell this is all supposed to mean.

I've been meaning to blog under this topic for a minute now. I think I even suggested that this site have a "dream" category in the first place. Why? Because I have some crazy ass dreams.

Like the one last night that featured Hillary Duff. Why? I have no clue. All I know is that she was at my house and she had on a t-shirt and pannies. My alarm woke me before I could have a tryst with the barely legal Disney Channel starlette. Maybe I'll fare better with Keenan and Kel?

I'm not exactly sure why I dreamt this but I think it has something to do with me pissing Keter off by not getting the "Mylo" review done in a timely fashion. So Keter and I were chatting via 'Instant Message' when I told him that I didn't have a lot of time to do things including write the review I had said I could. He seemed mad (who knows for sure... its AIM) and wrote "i wish you would've said that LAST week cuz now everything is fucked". He signed off soon after. He hasn't talked to me since. So I felt bad and decided to make the time that night to do the review. That was yesterday and last night I had this dream...

So I was bored and I wanted to hang out with MIC and Keter. I decided to meet up with them in Springfield somewhere. Next thing I was in a weird run down mall somewhere in Springfield waiting for Keter and MIC to show up. The mall was pretty desserted and all the glass for the storefronts was tinted this nasty yellow as if it was subject to 50 years of cigarette smoke. The stores were... lets say... "Urban" in theme. The window displays boasted lots of "FUBU" clothes and sports jerseys. I think there was a 'Champs Sports' there too. I felt out of my element to say the least. Eventually Keter and MIC showed up. As soon as we started talking, one of the payphones started to ring and I answered it. I could see the person on the other end of the line. He was a Fred Durst type wannabe street thug dude. He was talking trash about Keter and was swearing at me to put him on the phone. As soon as I did, me and Keter were outside headed towards my car (which was an old Cadillac for some reason). He was on his cell phone too by the way *which totally makes sense*. So Keter was swearing at this kid and eventually hung up on him. The dude on the phone was talking trash about Keters rap skills which is what set him off. I asked Keter what was wrong but I can't remember what he said. The next thing I knew we were in some nasty living room much like the style of the mall. It was old and nasty like it belonged to somebodys chainsmoking grandparents. The furniture was old and a brown in a sort of plaid fabic. It was me and Keter, MIC, and DJ12xu. I noticed that there was a table with a bunch of random pickle jars on it. I wasn't quite sure what they were for untill Keter was like "12xu... fuck!!! This one is bad!" and motioned to this cloudy jar full of pickles. 12xu picked up the jar and took it away. So in my dream, the pickles were a way for Keter and MIC to record music. YES! I know it doesn't make sense. But apparently MIC and Keter would take this whole pickles and mount them to a mic stand and rap into them. Because it was a more affordable way to record music. So apparently pickles can be used to record and save singing/rapping. But you can't let them go bad because everything you saved would be lost. It was all because DJ12xu didn't keep up with the pickle jars. I remember thinking "Oh... Poor Keter. He lost his rhymes!" So here we were in this weird living room with a copious amount of pickle jars listening to tracks that MIC and Keter produced. That's it...