The association of German vagina specialists are warning women about the ills g-string panties may pose to their delicate "lady parts."

Dr Gent said: "G-strings can abrade and injure the sensitive skin around the genital area - especially if they are too tight or made with badly stitched material."

This damage can aid the spread of bacteria and cause fungal infections, he said.

Mr Nick Panay, consultant gynaecologist at the Queen Charlotte's Hospital, in London, said: "Certainly, if you are wearing something that is two sizes too small it could lead to abrasions and discomfort.

My solution for all you foxy mama's out there is to ditch the skimpy underwear and tight pants all together... start rocking short skirts and no panties from here on out!

It's the new fashion trend for the summer, courtesy of your friends at Imageyenation.

A pair of Florida youth, Christopher Scamahorn, 14, and Jeffery Spurgeon, 18, are charged with murder after beating a homeless man to death because they were "bored."

The teens said they attacked the man "for fun" and "to have something to do," Haught said. They went back to the woods three times after the initial attack to beat the man again, he said.

The victim was found Saturday, and the condition of the body indicated he had been dead for several days. An autopsy Sunday determined that the man died from blunt force trauma to the head and body, Haught said.

The victim's name has not been released.

Letting a group of homeless people beat them to death seems like it'd be a fair punishment to me, what about you?

Infamous crazy haired wacko Bob Geldof has announced plans for a multi-location concert called "Live 8" which he hopes will be a repeat of his legendary "Live Aid" benefit show from the '80s...

The Live 8 concerts are taking place on 2 July in London, Paris, Berlin, Rome and Philadelphia. These are the musical acts set to perform at the free events.

Hyde Park, London

Coldplay
Dido
Sir Elton John
Keane
Annie Lennox
Madonna
Mariah Carey
Muse
Scissor Sisters
Sir Paul McCartney
Joss Stone
Stereophonics
Sting
Robbie Williams
U2
REM
Velvet Revolver
Bob Geldof
The Killers
The Cure
Snow Patrol

Museum of Art, Philadelphia

Will Smith (host)
Bon Jovi
Maroon 5
P Diddy
Stevie Wonder
Jay-Z
The Dave Matthews Band
Sarah McLachlan
Rob Thomas
Keith Urban
50 Cent
Kaiser Chiefs

Eiffel Tower, Paris

Jamiroquai
Craig David
Youssou N'Dour
Yannick Noah
Andrea Bocelli
Calo Gero
Kyo
Placebo
Axelle Red
Johnny Halliday
Manu Chao
Renaud

Brandenburg Gate, Berlin

A-ha
Crosby, Stills and Nash
Brian Wilson
Lauryn Hill
Bap
Die Toten Hosen
Peter Maffay

Circus Maximus, Rome

Duran Duran
Faith Hill
Irene Grandi
Jovanotti
Tim McGraw
Nek
Laura Pasini
Vasco Rossi
Zucchero

Even more entertaining than the likes of Jamiroquai, Lauryn Hill, Coldplay, The Cure and their ilk is one of the comments left by a stupid American reader in the "have your say" section...

"I work 10 hours a day to feed my family, not Africa"

Chris Salinas, Philadelphia, USA

Because I'm just so sure working 10 hours a day will provide food for him and his family when the American infrastructure implodes, the entire continent is embroiled in social unrest and famine strikes.

After 30-some-odd years of secrecy former deputy chief of the FBI Mark Felt, age 91, has admitted to being "deep throat" the legendary squealer who informed on the Nixon administration to Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman... umm, I mean Woodward and Bernstein.

In a statement read on US channel MSNBC, Mr Bernstein said: "We've said all along that when the source, known as Deep Throat, dies, we will reveal his identity.

"Beyond that... we're not going to say anything because we have an obligation to all our sources, to whom we gave our word that they will remain confidential, including Deep Throat, until their deaths."

Mr Felt, now 91, told Vanity Fair: "I'm the guy they used to call Deep Throat."

The name derived from a famous pornographic film of the time.

So what that means is that this story is pretty much bunko unless the old dude dies sometime soon, because Woodward and Bernstein ain't admitting to shit.

Dusty Grooves Playlist for 05/31/05

Les McCann "Vallarta" 'Music Lets Me Be' ABC
Billy Cobham "Song For A Friend ( Part I )" 'Life & Times' Atlantic
Hubert Laws "Tryin' To Get The Feeling Again" 'Romeo & Juliet' Columbia
J.O.B. Orquestra "Only Faith and Hope" 'Open The Door To Your Heart' Govinda
Hugh Masekela "Bajabula Bonke ( The Healing Song )" 'The Promise Of A Future' UNI
Bobbi Humphrey "Set Us Free" 'Flute-In' Applause
George Benson "Are You Happy?" 'Tell It Like It Is' CTI/A&M
Tower Of Power "Knock Yourself Out" 'East Bay Grease' San Francisco
Four Tops "Turn On The Light Of Your Love" 'Keeper Of Teh Castle' ABC/Dunhill
Jackson 5 "Body Language ( Do The Love Dance )" 'Moving Violation' Motown
Billy Preston "I Wrote A Simple Song" 'I Wrote A Simple Song' A&M
Weather Report "Umbrellas" 'Weather Report' Comlumbia
J.O.B. Orquestra "Open The Doors Of Your Heart" 'Open The Door To Your Heart' Govinda
Smash "Your Love" 'Smash!' Source
Spinners "Mighty Love" 'The Best Of...' Atlantic
Chanson "Don't Hold Back" 'Chanson' Ariola
Chic "My Forbidden Lover" 'Risque' Atlantic
The Isley Brothers "Summer Breeze" '3 + 3' T-Neck

Background Sounds

Weather Report "Cannon Ball" 'Black Market' Columbia
Billy Cobham "Song For A Friend ( Part II )" 'Life & Times' Atlantic
Hugh Masekela "Grazing In The Grass" 'The Promise Of A Future' UNI
Billy Cobham "East Bay" 'Life & Times' Atlantic
Les McCann "Street Dance" 'Music Lets Me Be' ABC
Smash "Pall Mall Groove" 'Smash!' Source

And don't forget to check out Imageyenation Multimedia's own Urban Alternatives DJ Crew again next week, late night Monday the 6th into early morning Tuesday the 7th from 12 midnight to 2 a.m eastern time, broadcasting live on 90.7 FM WTCC with another episode of Dusty Grooves!

Anette Pharris, 34, of Nashville Tennessee is facing a grand jury indictment for hiring a stripper for her 16 year old son's birthday party!

Police spokesman Don Aaron said minors are not permitted in adult establishments.

"A person shouldn't be allowed to circumvent that law by hiring a stripper, a lady who took all her clothes off and spent a good amount of time dancing around minors," he said.

Anette Pharris took photos at the party and tried to have them developed at a nearby drug store. Drug store employees notified authorities, police said.

"Who are they to tell me what I can and can't show to my own children?" the mother said.

I agree with Anette myself. I mean, if you come shooting out of one of those things at birth, then spend a few years sucking on the other things to survive as an infant, why can't you look at either of 'em as a teenager? It's preposterous!

A few other folks, including the boy's father and the stripper, are also facing charges.

I remember when I first heard "Last Goodbye". It was 1995, when the majority of my music collection included artist such as Green Day, TLC, Notorious B.IG., Pearl Jam, Coolio, and yes Hootie & the Blowfish! *shivers* I was on the way back to school from a field trip when my friend Breanne handed me her headphones..."You have to check this artist out!" I proceeded and at that very instant I fell for his music.

Usually I'm not one to choice favorites, but if I had to I'd say Jeff Buckley is at the top of my inspirational artist list. His voice is unexplainable and beautiful along with his lyrics. Today May 29 marks the 8 year aniversay of his tragic death in Memphis. Since his death however, I have heard his melodies featured in various movies and TV shows. I guess it has brought him more recognition, surprise surprise! It's tragic yet haunting to think of how much more he could have accomplished in his life. Jeff would have been 39 this year.
So thanks Jeff for all those songs to daydream, cry, sing, scream to, and get inspiration from.

NIN pulls out of the Movie Awards because MTV refused to allow a political statement. Partisan politics is the only kind of politics I like:

"We were set to perform 'The Hand That Feeds' with an unmolested, straightforward image of George W. Bush as the backdrop. Apparently, the image of our president is as offensive to MTV as it is to me," Nine Inch Nails' leader Trent Reznor said in a statement posted on the band's Web site.

MTV said in a statement: "While we respect Nine Inch Nails' point of view, we were uncomfortable with their performance being built around a partisan political statement. When we discussed our discomfort with the band, their choice was to unfortunately pull out of the Movie Awards."

If you really love me, you just might want to run out to your local news-stand, book store, graffitti shop or other hipster-centric type joint for a copy of 'Beautiful Decay' issue K.

Why?

Because, it features reviews of the Gorillaz "Dirty Harry" 12'' and Self Scientific's 'Gods & Gangstas' LP in the reviews section.

Reviews which I wrote.

Fuckass.

And, if you're in New York City this weekend, you might wanna run out to Eleven Lounge at 162 Orchard Street for the 'Beautiful Decay' issue K release party this Sunday May 29th! DJ's Deck Demons ( Jayceeoh & Illogix ), Synapse, Gravy, Jedi, Animation, Fusion Kings and Dub-L will be spinning throughout the night and there will be performances from Sean Price, Lo Deck, Many Styles and Jahdan. Doors open at 9:30 PM and there's a $5 cover, but there's also an open bar ( if that's your sort of thing ) from 10 - 12 and the first 100 people get free shirts from MethodsNYC.

If you are completely depressed, suicidal, or dealing with PMS then you know chocolate is the shizz-night!

Now the North Koreans have created a Chocolate Candy Diet to help their children grow.

Police in Miami discovered a shipment of cocaine being smuggled in bananas!

Customs agents inspecting a shipment of plantains thought some of the green bananas seemed unusually hard and cut them open, finding more than 750 pounds of cocaine stuffed inside what turned out to be phony fruit.

Smugglers molded the plantains out of glass fiber, filled them with cocaine and painted them to look like the real fruit, a large, green member of the banana family popular in the Caribbean and Latin America, the U.S. Customs and Border Patrol said on Thursday.

So, I guess they were just trying to add some more potassium, huh?

MARK DE CLIVE-LOWE

'Tide's Arising'

ABB Soul

Broken beat? Nu-jazz? Nu-soul? Future-soul? Huh? What? Meaningless and confusing terms bandied about by hipsters, dj's and writers alike to describe the music of a new school of electronic music acts of various stripe, from different corners of the globe. Acts with such varied styles as Bugz In The Attic, Yam Who?, Spacek, Sa Ra Creative Partners, Platinum Pied Pipers and even hip-hop producers Madlib and Jay Dee, amongst a whole host of others... not the least of which being the subject of this review, frequent Bugz sessioner Mark de Clive-Lowe.

To dream up the kind of music we're talking about here your mind and soul would have to get together one night to remember the dancefloor soul and jazz of the '70s ( think stuff like Stevie Wonder at his best and the writing & production credits of the Mizzell brothers )... then reminisce on the "lofty" days of disco ( the real shit yall, we're not talking Abba here )... think back to having been felt by the robotic touch of the synth-pop and electro-funk of the '80s... get up, go out, and spend the night at a club where they might dance to "house music all night long"... then put a little hip-hop in the sound system during the ride home... before drifting off to sleep in each others arms to shuffly afro-beats and latin style polyrhythms.

Clive-Lowe and collaborators Bembe Segue, Capitol A, Abdul Shyllon, Lain Gray and Vanessa Freeman do all that & more on 'Tide's Arising,' supplying listeners with soulful hip-house on "Traveling," electro-shocked afro-latin broken beat on "Slide," "State Of The Mental," the title track & "4.Y.V.," foot stomping future-soul on "Syndrome," and sexy staggered downtempo "boom-clap" on "Heaven."

It's a mind-soul trip that weds the dancefloor sounds of yesterday to those of today... the organic to the synthesized... and even the rural tribalism of native musical culture to the urban pluralism of popular musical culture. But more important than that, it's soulful and funky enough to get your ass on the floor and your hands in the air, which is what music, be it archaic or futuristic, is all about.

I know that headline is mean, but when veteran actor Eddie Albert dies at the ripe-old-age of 99 what the fuck else am I supposed to say?

But Albert is best remembered for "Green Acres," which aired on CBS from 1965 to 1971 and continues to have an afterlife on cable TV. In it, Albert played Oliver Wendell Douglas, the successful Manhattan lawyer who satisfies his longing to get closer to nature by giving up his law practice and buying — sight-unseen — a rundown 160-acre farm near the fictional town of Hooterville. Eva Gabor co-starred as his malaprop-dropping socialite wife, Lisa.

A spin-off of "Petticoat Junction," "Green Acres" featured a zany cast of hayseed characters, including Mr. Haney (Pat Buttram), the con man who sold the tumbledown farm to the big-city couple.

Albert previously had turned down series offers, including "My Three Sons" and "Mister Ed," unwilling to forgo his movie career for a medium he felt was "geared to mediocrity."

But then his agent told him the concept of the proposed CBS comedy series: a city slicker comes to the country to escape the aggravations of city living.

"I said, 'Swell. That's me. Everyone gets tired of the rat race. Everyone would like to chuck it all and grow some carrots. It's basic. Sign me,'" Albert told TV Guide. "I knew it would be successful. Had to be. It's about the atavistic urge, and people have been getting a charge out of that ever since Aristophanes wrote about the plebs and the city folk."

I mean, it's not like I have 'Escape To Witch Mountain' refferences just comin' out my ass over here!

The dude M.O. from CypherKingz.com hit me up about a new 12'' dropping on New Medina Music/Day By Day Ent. from producer Lynn Ness featuring Yeshua DaPoed, Sach ( of The Nonce ) and L*Roneous on the mic.

The Yesh track is especially dope, but you can check it out for yourself right here, right now...

Lynn Ness feat. Yesh "Ain't 2 Much"

Real Media

I gotta admit, I'm digging that shit a lot. It's like a little piece of 1996 came forward through time just to make my backpack happy or something.

Oh, and quiet as kept, but the Sach joint is pretty fuckin' hot too.

And maybe you'll win some kicks of your own in the process!

That's right, the Nike iD blog contest is still going strong. But we still need your help if we're gonna win. So please, visit the contest page and cast your daily vote for the El Keter / Imageyenation shoe called "Earth," and don't be afraid to tell your friends to do the same!

After all, this contest isn't about glory, or bragging rights, it's about giving away free stuff to people like you!

In case you missed it the first time, the winning blog will be presented with one hundred ( 100 ) Nike iD gift cards which will be given away to blog readers who can redeem the card for a free pair of shoes, either of the winning design, or a design of their own!

So the real winners here aren't us, the bloggers, but you, the blog readers. And we wan't our readers to be the winners!

I've been really impressed with the support we've gotten so far, but we need it to continue for the long haul if we're gonna stay in this.

So please help us out by voting for our shoe whenever and wherever you can, and remember to tell your people to vote too!

Urban Alternatives Playlist for 05/26/05

Sean Price "Boom Bye Yeah" 'Monkey Barz' Duck Down
Nottz Presents DMP "Mr. Smif N Wesson Man" Teamsta/Fast Life
Da Beatminerz feat. The Last Emperor "Mafia Don" Copter
C-Rayz Walz feat. Jean Grae "Pink" 'Year Of The Beast' Definitive Jux
Little Brother "Ain't Nobody Like Me" Fast Life
The Pacifics "Magnificent" All Natural Inc.
Modill feat. Truth Enola "Moves" EV
Afu-Ra "Sucka Free" Life Force/Decon
Oh No feat. J Dilla & Roc C "Move" Stones Throw
Boom Bap Project feat. Gift Of Gab "Wyle Out" Rhymesayers
The Chapter feat. Sincere Brown "Manor Mindstate ( Nicolay Remix )" Awthentix
MED "Can't Hold On" Stones Throw
Platinum Pied Pipers feat. Georgia Anne Muldrow "Your Day Is Done" CDR
Emanon "She Thinks" 'The Waiting Room' Shaman Work
Feist "One Evening" Cherry Tree/Interscope
Annie "No Easy Love" 'Anniemal' 679
Soul:ID "Believe" One Trak
Dwight Trible & The Life Force Trio feat. Sa-Ra "Equipoise" Ninja Tune
Mark de Clive-Lowe "State Of The Mental" 'Tide's Arising' ABB Soul
Zap Mama feat. Bahamadia & Lady Alma "Show Me The Way ( Seiji Remix )" Giant Step
Soel "To This World ( Smitty Remix )" Warner Brothers
Sol represents B-Side Frankenstein "Just 'Cause I Do" CDR
Wale Oyejide "Wasting Time ( Broken Beat Mix )" Shaman Work
Jay-Z "Dear Summer" CDR
Splash "Feels Good" 'The Ripple Effect' Amp Truth/Hip Hop Site
Sean Price "Heartburn" 'Monkey Barz' Duck Down
Common "Go!" 'BE' Geffen
Kanye West "Improvise" CDR
Lyrics Born "Hello ( Remix )" 'Same !@#$ Different Day' Quannum
Boom Bap Project "Rock The Spot" Rhymesayers
Squeak E. Clean feat. 2 Mex "Once Again... " Dim Mak
Emanon "The World Don't Sing" 'The Waiting Room' Shaman Work
Immortal Technique feat. Chuck D & KRS One "Bin Laden ( Remix )" Viper/Babygrande
Z-Trip feat. Chuck D "Shock and Awe" 'Shifting Gears' Hollywood
Sean Price "Monkey Barz" 'Monkey Barz' Duck Down

Background Sounds

Hezekiah "Three Crates Of Porn" Soulspazm
Afu-Ra "Poisonous Taoist" Life Force/Decon
MED feat. J-Dilla "Push" Stones Throw
Kev Brown "Brown Liquor" 'Shaman Work Presents: Beatology Vol. 1' Shaman Work
Wale Oyejide "Get On The Good Foot" 'Shaman Work Presents: Beatology Vol. 1' Shaman Work
Ta'Raach "# 7" 'Shaman Work Presents: Beatology Vol. 1' Shaman Work
Little Brother "Ain't Nobody Like Me" Fast Life
M.F. Grimm "My Love" F5/Day By Day Ent.
Squeak E. Clean feat. Baldhead Slick "I Win, U Lose" Dim Mak

Urban Alternatives Top 40 for 05/25/05

Artist/Title/Label

1. Zion-I "Bird's Eye View" Live Up
2. Nottz Presents DMP "Mr. Smif N Wesson Man" Teamsta/Fast Life
3. Exile & Lokey "Sinking Ship" Mixt Ape
4. Chief Kamachi & The JuJu Mob "No Chorus" Good Hands
5. Lyrics Born "I'm Just Raw" b/w "Pack Up ( Remix )" Quannum
6. Natasha Bedingfield "These Words" Giant Step
7. Da Beatminerz "Mafia Don" Copter
8. The Pacifics feat. Pep Love "Situations" All Natural Inc.
9. Dwight Trible & The Life Force Trio feat. Sa-Ra "Equipoise" Ninja Tune
10. C-Rayz Walz "R'Thentic" Definitive Jux
11. Daily Plannet feat. El Da Sensai "Triple Beam" All Natural Inc.
12. The Perceptionists "Blo" Definitive Jux
13. Afu-Ra "Poisonous Taoist" Life Force/Decon
14. MED feat. J-Dilla "Push" Stones Throw
15. Squeak E. Clean feat. Baldheaded Slick "I Win, You Lose" Dim Mak
16. Lyrics Born 'Same !@#$ Different Day' Quannum ( LP )
17. The Perceptionists 'Black Dialogue' Definitive Jux ( LP )
18. All Natural feat. El Da Sensai "Keep It Movin'" All Natural Inc.
19. AZ feat. Nas "Serious" Koch
20. Quasimoto 'The Further Adventures of Lord Quas' Stones Throw ( LP )
21. M.F. Grimm "Gingerbread Man" F5/Day By Day Ent.
22. Oh No feat. J Dilla & Roc C "Move Part 2" Stones Throw
23. Blueprint "Boombox" Rhymesayers
24. Blueprint '1988' Rhymesayers ( LP )
25. Splash 'The Ripple Effect' Amp Truth/Hip Hop Site ( LP )
26. Zap Mama feat. Bahamadia & Lady Alma "Show Me The Way ( Seiji Remix )" Giant Step
27. Living Legends 'Classic' Legendary ( LP )
28. M.I.A. 'Arular' XL ( LP )
29. Hezekiah "Soul Music" Soulspazm
30. Aloe Blacc "Want You" b/w "Arrive" Stones Throw
31. Aesop Rock 'Fast Cars, Danger, Fire and Knives EP' Definitive Jux
32. Tiombe Lockhart "Mr. Johnnie Walker" Giant Step
33. Time Machine "Grime Machine" Glow In The Dark
34. Platnum 'Rock Me' Sonar Kollektiv ( LP )
35. Medeski Martin & Wood "Midnight Birds ( Sa-Ra Creative Partners Remix )" Blue Note
36. Emanon "Count Your Blessings" Shaman Work
37. Z-Trip "Listen To The DJ" Hollywood
38. Quasimoto "Broad Factor" Stones Throw
39. Dorn The Overseer 'California Dream EP' Abstrakt Konfusion
40. Selan "Unconditional Love" Wonderwax

Adds:

1. Modill feat. Truth Enola "Moves" EV
2. Feist "One Evening" Cherry Tree/Interscope
3. Various Artists 'Shaman Work Presents: Beatology Vol. 1 EP' Shaman Work
4. Project Blowed "Who The F*ck Is You?" Project Blowed/Decon
5. Cali Comm feat. Del the Funky Homosapien "Time's Up" Decon

And don't forget to check out Imageyenation Multimedia's own Urban Alternatives DJ Crew again next week, late night Wednesday the 1st into early morning Thursday the 2nd from 12 midnight to 3 a.m eastern time, broadcasting live on 90.7 FM WTCC with another episode of Urban Alternatives!

It's funny, it's a funny hat:

Actor Burt Reynolds slapped a CBS assistant producer in the face at a movie premiere in New York City.

The producer was asking Reynolds, 69, about his new movie "The Longest Yard" outside the premiere in Chelsea Tuesday night when the actor became annoyed.

"You don't know anything about the movie?" Reynolds asked.

The producer acknowledged he hadn't seen it or the original 1974 version. Reynolds then slapped the producer. "What ... kind of guy are you?" he asked.

What kind of guy are you?

I have to thank my newest Myspace friend domenico for introducing me to the Miss Belinda Bedekovic.



She claims to have the "fastest fingers on the remote keyboard".

*ENTER JOKE ABOUT HER FAST FINGERS ON YOUR "REMOTE KEYBOARD" HERE*

Done? Good. Now go see for yourself!

This article is pretty minimal on details. Step it up AP:

Federal authorities have shut down the Elite Torrents network -- an online file-sharing network that had the new Stars War movie before it was shown in theaters.

Authorities accuse the site of engaging in high-tech piracy.

This marks the first case against individuals who use the high-speed file-sharing software called Bit-Torrent.

Amnesty International says USA is the best...at human rights violations:

FOUR years after the September 11 attacks on New York and Washington, human rights are in retreat world-wide and the US bears most of the responsibility, rights watchdog Amnesty International said on Wednesday. From Afghanistan to Zimbabwe the picture is bleak. Governments are increasingly rolling back the rule of law, taking their cue from the US-led war on terror, it said.

“The US as the unrivalled political, military and economic hyper-power sets the tone for governmental behaviour world-wide,” secretary general Irene Khan said in the foreword of Amnesty International’s ’05 annual report. “When the most powerful country in the world thumbs its nose at the rule of law and human rights, it grants a license to others to commit abuse with impunity,” she added.

London-based Amnesty cited the pictures of detainees at Iraq’s US-run Abu Ghraib prison from last year, which it said were never adequately investigated, and the detention without trial of “enemy combatants” at the US naval base in Cuba.

The fantastic Make-blog has a video of a couple old Morse Coders beating a couple SMS-Texters in a "race."

Those old fogeys don't want a piece of Cereffusion.

Apparently not, because not only did these two Lucas-fed idiots want to wield light-sabers like their favorite fallen Jedi, they wanted to burst into flames like he did too! That's why they filled their fake saber's with gasoline.

The pair - a man aged 20 and a girl of 17 - are believed to have been filming a mock fight when one of the devices exploded in woodland on Sunday.

I wonder if a creepy robot doctor is grafting some boss cybernetic limbs onto their charred torsos in a hospital somewhere right now?

But that's exactly what happened to an elderly North Carolina woman who was thrown in the bing after repeatedly calling 911 to complain about a local pizzeria that wouldn't deliver any pizza to her.

She told dispatchers Sunday that a local pizza shop refused to deliver a pie to her south Charlotte apartment, said Officer Mandy Giannini, a Charlotte-Mecklenburg police spokeswoman. She also complained that someone at the shop called her a "crazy old coot," Giannini said.

Densmore wanted them arrested. Instead, police came to arrest her, and she resisted, Giannini said.

I love pizza and all, but the only way I'm getting that rilled up over some pie is if it's a Pizza Hut "Triple Decker" or a Chicken Parm from Antonio's up in Amherst.

It took police, the Sheriff's Deptartment, the bomb squad, and even a robot, to disable a suspicious and possibly dangerous penis that brought traffic on Interstate 75 and Daniels Parkway in Florida to a stand-still on Monday.

“Someone took construction-grade plastic, molded it into a penis and wrapped it with duct tape,” said Lee County Sheriff’s Chief Deputy Charles Ferrante.

“They wrote ‘Happy Father’s Day’ on the duct tape.”

The device was first described by the sheriff’s office as a prosthetic penis. Later, it cops described it as a paper sculpture made to look like a penis.

"(The rumor that it was actually a vibrator) just took a life of it's own," said Cpl. Larry King.

The offending phallus was taken into police custody and stored in an evidence locker where it will sit until police can find a minority "suspect" whose anus they can savagely violate with it.

Direct to DVD?:

Over the last week, several sources from within the animation business have indicated to us that there is renewed talk at FOX about bringing fresh Futurama content directly to DVD. We corroborated this with other sources close to the show before publishing the information.

The talk is of course still in a preliminary stage. Options reported to us include one or more Futurama movies in case of a go-ahead.

Any sort-of return for Futurama would be incredible news.

Super-hip urban electro-funking Imageyenation dandys Chromeo are back with a new UK-only single ( with remixes by Riton and Philippe Zdar ) for their track "Rage." And of course they've got a new video clip to go with it.

Wanna see it?



Chromeo "Rage!"

Real Media

Windows Media Lo

Windows Media Med

Windows Media Hi

You should also keep an ear out for...

The UK re-release of "Needy Girl" with remixes by Paper Faces (Jacques LuCont) and Bloc Party's Russel Lissack...

A mix CD from Dave and Peee -- Chromeo Presents 'Un Joli Mix Pour Toi' -- featuring obscure, '80s crack-funk by the likes of Modern Romance, Love Club, Sharon Redd, Kleer, Temper, and more, out on Eskimo Records in September...

And Chromeo's second record titled 'Cupid Took His Arrow Back,' which is due sometime in 2006.

Dusty Grooves Playlist for 05/24/05

Barrabas "Checkmate" 'Heart Of The City' Atco
Mandrill "Funky Monkey" 'We Are One' Arista
Ray Young "Mr. Funky" 'Mr. Funky' Kapp
Les McCann "Ruby Jubilation" 'Music Lets Me Be' ABC
The Three Degrees "Long Lost Lover" 'International' Philadelphia International
The O'Jays "People Keep Tellin' Me" 'Ship Ahoy' Philadelphia International
Atlantic Starr "What'cha Feel Inside" 'Straight To The Point' A&M
Smash "I'm Gonna Give ( My Whole Life To Music )" 'Smash!' Source
Hugh Masekela "Stop" 'The Promise Of A Future' Uni
Billy Preston "Should've Known Better" 'I Wrote A Simple Song' A&M
Ike & Tina Turner "Ooh Poo Pah Doo" 'Get Back' Liberty
New York City "Happiness Is" 'Soulful Road' Chelsea
The Main Ingredient "Who Can I Turn To ( When Nobody Needs Me )" 'Sweet' RCA
The Emotions "Show Me How" 'Chronicle' Stax
Weather Report "Waterfall" 'Weather Report' Columbia
Weather Report "Elegant People" 'Black Market' Columbia
The Alan Parsons Project "I Robot" 'I Robot' Arista
Queen "Dragon Attack" 'The Game' Elektra

Background Sounds

Billy Cobham "East-Bay" 'Life & Times' Atlantic
Billy Cobham "Some Skunk Funk" 'A Funny Thide Of Sings' Atlantic
Bobbi Humphrey "Sidewinder" 'Flute-In' Applause
Bobbi Humphrey "It's Too Late" 'Flute-In' Applause
Weather Report "Milky Way" 'Weather Report' Columbia
The Alan Parsons Project "Genesis Ch. 1 V. 32" 'I Robot' Arista

And don't forget to check out Imageyenation Multimedia's own Urban Alternatives DJ Crew again next week, late night Monday the 30th into early morning Tuesday the 31st from 12 midnight to 2 a.m eastern time, broadcasting live on 90.7 FM WTCC with another episode of Dusty Grooves!

If you ain't know, North Carolina hip-hop phenomenon's Little Brother will be dropping a "new" record called 'The Chittlin Circuit 1.5' on June 21st 2005.

But if you can't wait that long to peep it you can always check out this fresh Flash player featuring audio of all the tracks.

Or, just tune in to The Urban Alternative Show this week, late night Wednesday from 12 midnight to 3 AM on 90.7 FM WTCC ( check the right side-bar of this very site for links to listen live online ) because I'm most positive that I'll be dropping their new single "Ain't Nobody Like Me" at some point during the show.

Since she was the featured cover artist in two different magazines I picked up this weekend...

And, since I actually heard one of her songs on the radio ( and I wasn't the one playing it )...

And, since I finally saw her "Sunshowers" video Saturday night...

And, since I mentioned the disappearance of links to that same video from this very site no more than 24 hours ago...

And, since she really is quite attractive ( I mean, just look at her over there )...

I figured I might as well give the five of you who still aren't up on this broad a chance to listen to a few songs, and watch a video clip, from Miss Maya "M.I.A." Arulpragasam.

Get in on it now while you still can, that way you can act hipper than thou in a couple months when all your friends are asking you if you wanna go see her on some big Interscope tour with Gwen Stefani or some shit.

But who knew that Palestinians were a bunch of jokesters too?

Certainly not First Lady Laura Bush, who found out the hard way when she was heckled by both Jews and Muslims alike during her recent trip to the Holy Land...

Israeli police held back demonstrators demanding the release of Jonathan Pollard, an Israeli American who was jailed in 1987 on charges of spying for Israel.

Mrs Bush then rode in a motorcade for the short drive to the adjacent Dome of the Rock mosque - which she described as "magnificent".

Israeli police formed a cordon to prevent Muslim worshippers jostling her.

"How dare you come here! Why is your husband killing Muslims?", one shouted.

The only thing funnier is me and Emeyesi talking smack during the anti-piracy PSA before 'Revenge Of The Sith.'

Sitting at Emeyesi's crib watching "on demand" is always a good way to catch up on one's music video watching. And, as it turns out, so is reading this blog after I go looking for some of my "on demand" favorites on-line.

First up is a clip for "Finding Out True Love Is Blind" from Louis XIV, a group Emeyesi and myself have described as "sexy like Franz Ferdinand," or "Buzzcocks meet Postal Service." It's a tune I've been burning into the ground for a while now. So much so that it's become somewhat of an anthem for me... as songs about womanizing often do. I even posted the lyrics on my MySpace page for all to see ( yes, I'm lame like that ), and now I'm posting the video right here for you to see...

Louis XIV "Finding Out True Love Is Blind"

Real Media

Quicktime 56k

Quicktime 100k

Quicktime 300k

Quicktime 450k

Then there's a total fluke of a find by a dirty south "punk" band called El Pus ( pronounced El Poose ). The "on demand" description for the video was full of bad grammer and terrible spelling to a degree that made it totally nonsensical... so we just had to watch it to see what the hell it was all really about. And boy were we glad that we did. Hopefully you will be too...

El Pus "Suburb Thuggin'"

Real Media Lo

Real Media Hi

Windows Media Lo

Windows Media Hi

And I know, I know, it's no big revelation on my part to tell you that Postal Service rules. We all know that they rule. I mean, how could a group who's tunes resemble more polished versions of Kip's wedding song from 'Napoleon Dynamite' not rule, right? But, when your visual interpretation of one of their emo-tronic selections includes a retro-futuristic family of singing, bike riding, Jedi, sun-cult members it becomes utterly impossible for one to deny their status as rulers of all...

Postal Service "We Will Become Sihouettes"

Quicktime Lo

Quicktime Hi

We also watched that Gorillaz "Feel Good Inc.," and the clip for M.I.A.'s "Sunshower" ( why are there no Sri Lankan broads taking group bath's around here? ), but I've already posted both of those elsewhere ( even if one has been conspicuously removed, thank you very much Beggars Group! ) so there's no need to do it again.

Look at this kid:



For serious though congrats son. We have some awkward hugs waiting for you here in Springfield.

At least it's not raining.

"Blogging is the wild west of communication." - the university president

The newly revamped Nike iD website has offered a bunch of us humble blog writing folk the opportunity to design our own pair of customized Nike's which you, the humble blog reading folk, can vote on.

The top vote-getter will in turn win a bunch of dope Nike schawg ( read: free shoes ) to give away to their readers... readers like you!

Our design is called EARTH.

Blog-member Emeyesi designed our shoe with Earth elements in mind. We think it's got an Earthy, soulful, African/Rasta/Caribbean/South American sort of flavor, which stands out, and encompasses a lot of the cultural and musical influences in our lives. The yellow-ish color is kinda like our site's current background too. ;-)

And yes, that is the design in question to the left.

We really want to win this so we can pass on some special goodies to our readers, and only you can help us do that.

So please, go find our entry on the Nike iD contest page, and then vote, vote, vote your asses off from now until June 3rd 2005!

You can only vote once a day from the same computer, but if you happen to have the opportunity to get on more than one system and help stuff our ballot box we won't tell anybody. ;-)

Oooh, "box stuffing" sounds sexy don't it?

Famed online DVD-rental shop, NetFlix, is now part of the "Evil Empire." (No, not the Yankees.) (No, not Star Wars.)

Wal-Mart Stores Inc. is turning over its online DVD rental business to Netflix Inc., signaling that the world's largest retailer couldn't beat the Internet upstart at its own game.

Netflix shares surged after the agreement was announced Thursday, rising $2.61, or 17 percent, to $18.11 in midday on the Nasdaq Stock Market.

Wal-Mart is offering its existing online DVD rental customers the chance to continue their subscriptions with Los Gatos-based Netflix at their current price for the next year. Those who don't sign up with Netflix by June 17 will lose their service. Wal-Mart plans to continue promoting the Netflix service on its Web site.

In return, Netflix will remind its subscribers that they can buy DVDs from Walmart.com.

Boot Camp Clik emcee Sean Price, better known as Ruck of Heltah Skeltah, is finally dropping a solo album called 'Monkey Barz' featuring production from the likes of 9th Wonder, PF Cuttin', Nottz and others. For a long while I've thought dude was one of the nicest emcees in the game. Don't believe me? Just check his verse on BCC's "And So" for evidence.

Anyway, I'm totally hyped about the album and am trying to get my hands on it as I type this ( I know, I know, that's way too much for two hands to be doing at once ). I'll let yall know what I think of it if and when I actually do.

But in the meantime you might wanna check out this Sean Price interview with some German website where dude spits nothing but that real man talk™ about Heltah Skeltah, the Boot Camp Clik, Duck Down Ent., the state of hip-hop, radio & the music/video industry and being broke...

If you could change 3 things about the rap game what would they be ?

I would make the radio stations more diverse, like honestly you know, I would like emcees to be more in communicato and shit like that. I would like to hear Fabolous rhyme with someone from Def Jux, nah mean. I wanna be the first emcee to do that. To be able to do a song with a multi platinum rapper and then do a song with a dude who sells 3 records. And we all just be cool with each other and don't hate cuz we on different levels of hip hop. The Rainbow Coalition rap.

Like I said, "nothing but that real man talk™" yall. Cuz you know only a real, old timey backpacker motherfucker could spit it like that.

Courtesy of DJ 12XU...

Urban Alternatives Playlist for 05/19/05

Le Tigre "Tres Bien" 'Feminist Sweepstakes' Mr. Lady
Parts & Labor "Mike Burke For President" JMZ
Romeo Void "Myself To Myself" 'It's A Condition' 415
Lena Lovich "Home" 'Stateless' Stiff/Epic
Radiohead "Idioteque" 'Kid A' EMI
Ampere "The Old World Is Behind Us" 'All Our Tomorrows End Today' Ebullition
Fugazi "Cashout" 'The Argument' Dischord
The Beginning Of The End "Funky Nassau Pt. 1" 'Funky Nassau' Alston
Antibalas Afro Beat Orchestra "El Machete" 'Liberation Afro Beat Vol. 1' Ninja Tune
Sharon Jones and The Dap-Kings "What If We All Stopped Paying Taxes?" Daptone
Latyrx "Lady Don't Take No" 'The Muzappers Mixes' Solesides
The Clash "Radio Five" Epic
Artifacts "C'mon Wit Da Git Down" Big Beat
Kool G Rap "The Streets" Rawkus
Large Professor "Liveguy Saga" Matador
Count Bass D "Sandwiches ( I Got A Feeling - Kenny Dope Mix )" Work
Cage feat. Copywrite "The Weather Report" Rawkus
Weathermen feat. Copywrite, Yak Ballz, Tame One, Cage & Breezly Brewin' "5 Left In The Clip" Eastern Conference
R.A. The Rugged Man "How Low" Nature Sounds
Bad Brains "Don't Need It" 'Black Dots' Caroline
Bad Brains "At The Atlantis" 'Black Dots' Caroline
The Clash "The Guns Of Brixton" 'London Calling' Epic
Hoover "Electrodub" Slowdime
The Stooges "1969" 'The Stooges' Elektra
David Bowie "The Man Who Sold The World" 'The Man Who Sold The World' RCA
War "Slippin' Into Darkness" 'Greatest Hits' United Artists
Rhinoceros "Let's Party" 'Better Times Are Coming' Elektra
Flaherty Corsano Duo "I Miss Jimmy" 'Lost Eyes' Records
Grand Funk "Get This Thing On The Move" 'Grand Funk Railroad' Capitol
K.M.D. "Freedom Of Speech" 'Mr. Hood' Elektra
Edan feat. Mr. Lif "Making Planets" 'Beauty And The Beat' Lewis
Six Organs Of Admittance "Eighth Cognition" 'School Of The Flower' Drag City
Edan "Promised Land" 'Beauty And The Beat' Lewis
Piano Overlord "Recuerdes?" 'Tease EP' Money Studies
Sage Francis "Narcissist" 'The Makeshift Patriot EP' Anticon
Run DMC "Beats To The Rhyme" 'Tougher Than Leather' Profile
Wu Tang Clan "Protect Ya Neck" Loud
Ghostface Killah feat. U God "Cher Chez La Ghost" Epic
Theodore Unit feat. Ghostface Killah & Trife "Wicked With Lead" White Label
Goodie Mob "They Don't Dance No More" ( QT Remix )" La Face
Dungeon Family "On & On & On" 'Even In Darkness' Arista
Bonecrusher feat. Jadakiss & Busta Rhymes "Never Scared ( Remix )" So So Def
Wu Tang Clan "Method Man" Loud
Brains In Danger "Glass Eye" 'Demo 2003' CDR
Dalek vs. Velma "Desolate Peasants ( Remix )" 'Dalek vs. Velma EP' Mnarsitik

Background Sounds

Cage "Dust vs. Ecstasy" Rawkus
Cashless Society feat. Snaz, Black Intellect & X-Amount "Blazetha Breaks" Fondle 'Em
The Clash "Outside Broadcast" Epic
Tame One "Tame As It Ever Was" Eastern Conference
Six Organs Of Admittance "Home" 'School Of The Flower' Drag City
Six Organs Of Admittance "Eighth Cognition" 'School Of The Flower' Drag City
DJ Premier 'Unreleased Instrumentals Vol. 1' White Label
Brains In Danger "Glass Eye" 'Demo 2003' CDR

Urban Alternatives Top 40 for 05/18/05

Artist/Title/Label

1. Nottz Presents DMP "Mr. Smif N Wesson Man" Teamsta/Fast Life
2. Exile & Lokey "Sinking Ship" Mixt Ape
3. Da Beatminerz "Mafia Don" Copter
4. The Perceptionists "Blo" Definitive Jux
5. Zion-I "Bird's Eye View" Live Up
6. Daily Plannet feat. El Da Sensai "Triple Beam" All Natural Inc.
7. Chief Kamachi & The JuJu Mob "No Chorus" Good Hands
8. MED feat. J-Dilla "Push" Stones Throw
9. All Natural feat. El Da Sensai "Keep It Movin'" All Natural Inc.
10. Lyrics Born "I'm Just Raw" b/w "Pack Up ( Remix )" Quannum
11. AZ feat. Nas "Serious" Koch
12. Natasha Bedingfield "These Words" Giant Step
13. C-Rayz Walz "R'Thentic" Definitive Jux
14. Afu-Ra "Poisonous Taoist" Life Force/Decon
15. The Pacifics feat. Pep Love "Situations" All Natural Inc.
16. M.F. Grimm "Gingerbread Man" F5/Day By Day Ent.
17. Oh No feat. J Dilla & Roc C "Move Part 2" Stones Throw
18. Lyrics Born 'Same !@#$ Different Day' Quannum ( LP )
19. Dwight Trible & The Life Force Trio feat. Sa-Ra "Equipoise" Ninja Tune
20. The Perceptionists 'Black Dialogue' Definitive Jux ( LP )
21. Blueprint "Boombox" Rhymesayers
22. Zap Mama feat. Bahamadia & Lady Alma "Show Me The Way ( Seiji Remix )" Giant Step
23. Living Legends 'Classic' Legendary ( LP )
24. M.I.A. 'Arular' XL ( LP )
25. Quasimoto 'The Further Adventures of Lord Quas' Stones Throw ( LP )
26. Hezekiah "Soul Music" Soulspazm
27. Aloe Blacc "Want You" b/w "Arrive" Stones Throw
28. Aesop Rock 'Fast Cars, Danger, Fire and Knives EP' Definitive Jux
29. Tiombe Lockhart "Mr. Johnnie Walker" Giant Step
30. Time Machine "Grime Machine" Glow In The Dark
31. Platnum 'Rock Me' Sonar Kollektiv ( LP )
32. Medeski Martin & Wood "Midnight Birds ( Sa-Ra Creative Partners Remix )" Blue Note
33. Emanon "Count Your Blessings" Shaman Work
34. Z-Trip "Listen To The DJ" Hollywood
35. Quasimoto "Broad Factor" Stones Throw
36. Dorn The Overseer 'California Dream EP' Abstrakt Konfusion
37. Selan "Unconditional Love" Wonderwax
38. Sage Francis 'A Healthy Distrust' Epitaph ( LP )
39. Soul ID "Believe" One Track
40. Sole 'Live From Rome' Anticon ( LP )

Adds:

1. Squeak E. Clean feat. Baldheaded Slick "I Win, You Lose" Dim Mak
2. Blueprint '1988' Rhymesayers ( LP )
3. Splash 'The Ripple Effect' Amp Truth/Hip Hop Site ( LP )

And don't forget to check out Imageyenation Multimedia's own Urban Alternatives DJ Crew again next week, late night Wednesday the 25th into early morning Thursday the 26th from 12 midnight to 3 a.m eastern time, broadcasting live on 90.7 FM WTCC with another episode of Urban Alternatives!

The guys at CHUD.com are repeating a 'Variety' story claiming actor Kelsey Grammer has been cast as Dr. Hank McCoy, a.k.a. the acrobatically inclined, blue-furred, Beast in director Matthew Vaughn's upcoming 'X-Men 3' film.

They've also confirmed that Vinnie Jones ( Bullet Tooth Tony in Guy Ritchie's film-verse ) will be joining the cast as Juggernaut, and some chick from the totally uninteresting show 'Lost' is coming on as Shadowcat.

An actor suitable for the role of Warren Worthington III is still being sought.

Say, have you been getting a bunch of weird German spam e-mail messages, some of which contain links to Neo-Nazi websites or other offensively conspiritorial web-pages?

You have?

Yeah, me too.

And here's why...

A new computer worm sent right-wing German messages to millions of computers over the weekend in what anti-virus experts said was a sign that spam has become a tool for propagandists as well as scam artists.

"We have seen a trend in which worm authors are using spam not to hawk goods, but as a tool for political propaganda," said Scott Chasin, chief technical officer for the anti-virus firm MX Logic.

Chasin and other experts said the messages were sent by computers that had been infected with a new variant of the Sober worm, which turns computers into "zombies" that can be used as a base for attacks.

Experts described the amount of spam generated as "staggering."

I'd advise people fed up with this shit to update their virus definition files and scan, scan, scan! Hopefully the folks behind this nonsense will just commit suicide in whatever bunker they're hiding in like their fuhrer did oh so many years ago.

Or so the case may be for a 33 year old Welsh housewife who's use of a pair of vibrating leather panties got her ass hospitalized with an acute case of orgasm related injury.

Unfortunately, she became "so aroused by the 2½-inch vibrating bullet inside that she fainted" then "fell against shelves and banged her head". This prompted the attendance of the paramedics who "found the black leatherette panties still buzzing". Having disabled the orgasmatronic underwear, they then whisked the senseless shopper to hospital where she made a complete recovery. Staff handed her back the Passion Pants upon discharge, discreetly concealed in a plastic bag.

Awww... skeet, skeet... fall, fall... bump, bump... whoo, whoo... !

Sounds like a disco call and response routine.

On the eve of the release of the final chapter in the 'Star Wars' saga the government has revived plans for the development of a space-based weapons system in the same vein as Reagan's infamous "star wars" defense plan...

In 2002, after weighing the report of the Rumsfeld space commission, Bush withdrew from the 30-year-old Anti-ballistic Missile Treaty, which banned space-based weapons.

Ever since then, the Air Force has sought a new presidential policy officially ratifying the concept of seeking American space superiority.

The Air Force believes “we must establish and maintain space superiority,” Gen. Lance Lord, who leads the Air Force Space Command, told Congress recently. “Simply put, it's the American way of fighting.” Air Force doctrine defines space superiority as “freedom to attack as well as freedom from attack” in space.

It was widely reported that the afforementiond "star wars" plan of the '80s roused the ire of the 'Star Wars' saga's be-flanneled creator. So the fact that a similar idea is being floated so close in proximity to the release of another one of his films is sure to stick in his craw.

Maybe he'll be so pissed that he'll actually make Episode's 7, 8 and 9 just for another shot at vilifying the US government?

On May 24th venerable soul proprietor Motown is stepping into the remix game with the release of 'Motown Remixed.' It's a project that finds the label handing over some of it's biggest hit tunes to DJ's, producers and remixers like Ahmir "?uestlove" Thompson, Green Lantern, Jazzy Jeff, DJ Spinna, Easy Moe Bee, King Britt and others, who will try their hand at giving the jams modern makeovers.

I already got a triple pack of 12'' singles from the project featuring a number of the remixes, and other than a couple of standouts ( the Z-Trip mix included below being one of them ) I wasn't too impressed myself. But I'm holding off final judgement until a time when I hear the entire set.

You can check out a couple of the mixes for yourself right here though...

Jackson 5 "I Want You Back ( Z-Trip Remix )"

Real Audio

Windows Media

Marvin Gaye "Let's Get It On ( Da Producers MPG Groove Mix )"

Real Audio

Windows Media

And if you wanna know more, there's also an Electronic Press Kit featuring King Britt, ?uestlove, Z-Trip, Jazzy Jeff, DJ Green Lantern and others discussing their participation in the project...

'Motown Remixed' EPK

Real Media

Windows Media

Quicktime

A 'Motown Remixed' Tour, featuring DJ Smash, spinning the remixes and DJ sets utilizing the Motown catalog will be coming to New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Detroit, Miami, Atlanta, San Francisco, Philadelphia, Washington DC, and another city to be announced in May and June.

So apparently, if you are a young Jewish man making your way into manhood, you would want the loving support of your family, friends...and Destiny's Child?

The son of billionaire Phillip Green is gonna have a field day on his Bar Mitzvah:

The Times of London reports the flashy mogul marked his son's first steps into adulthood with a private bar mitzvah performance by Beyoncé and Destiny's Child, who apparently can be compelled to play the adolescent party circuit if the price is right.

The three-day bash at the exclusive Grand-Hotel du Cap-Ferrat in Nice reportedly set the proud pop back around $7 million and change, about $2 million less than he spent for his 50th birthday in Cyprus in 2002, which featured teen-repelling warblers Rod Stewart and Tom Jones.

The paper says Destiny's Child was part of a "wish list" selected by Green's son and 14-year-old daughter, who we're sure won't feel at all let down by life as they get older...

Actually, Justin Timberlake reportedly was also asked to perform...but backed out due to some throat operation or some crap like that.

Ok, so whatever happened to the nice family gathering, the dancing of the hora, the plain simple bar mitzvahs where you got a guy who still thinks it's 1976 to DJ for you and all your little 7th grade friends? I mean really...it's a stereotype to think that Jews have all the money in the world. But sometimes, it really seems like they do.

Tell you summin' that you might like to hear

Got a sexy ass body and your ass look soft

Mind if I touch it? And could see if it's soft?

Naw, I'm jus playin' 'less you say I can

And I'm known to be a real nasty man

And, they say a closed mouth dont get fed

So I don't mind askin' for head

You heard what I said, we need to make our way to the bed

And you can start usin' ya head

You like to fuck, have ya legs open all in da butt

Do it up slappin' ass cuz the sex gets rough

Switch positions, ready to get down to business

So you can see what you've been missin'

You might had some, but you never had nothin' like this

Just please don't you break my dick... Ooooooooohhhhh!

The man, identified only as John Doe in court papers, filed suit against the woman in 1997, claiming she was negligent when she suddenly changed positions, landed awkwardly on him and fractured his penis.

The man underwent emergency surgery in September 1994, "endured a painful and lengthy recovery" and has suffered from sexual dysfunction that hasn't responded to medication or counseling, the appeals court said.

Although the woman may have exposed her boyfriend to "some risk of harm," the three-judge panel said her conduct during the sexual encounter wasn't "wanton or reckless" and can't support a lawsuit.

She beat dat penis up!

Beat da penis up! Beat da penis up!

Beat da penis up! Beat da penis up!

Beat da penis up! Beat da penis up!

Beat da penis up! Beat da penis up!

Dusty Grooves Playlist for 05/17/05

Donald Byrd "Places And Spaces" 'Places And Spaces' Blue Note
Hiroshima "Winds Of Change" CDR
Joe Thomas "Polarizer" CDR
Bobbi Humphrey "Chicago Damn" CDR
Mighty Riders "Evil Vibrations" CDR
Daly Wilson "Dirty Feet" CDR
Isaac Hayes "Going In Circles" CDR
Solomon Burke "Cool Breeze Theme" CDR
Willie Hutch "The Hospital Prelude Of Love Theme" CDR
J.J. Johnson "Parade Strut" CDR
The Intruders "Memories Are Here To Stay" CDR
David Ruffin "Common Man" CDR
Chi-Lites "That's How Long" CDR
Lenny Williams "Cause I Love You" CDR
Tom Brock "There's Nothing In This World" CDR
O'Jays "Help" CDR
Delegation "Heartbreak" CDR
Major Harris "I Got Over Love" CDR
Gap Band "Yearning For Your Love" CDR
Parliament "I'd Rather Be With You" CDR

Background Sounds

Alan Ross "Discovery" CDR
David Axelrod "Urizen" CDR
Outlaw Blues Band "Deep Gully" CDR
Billy Cobham "Heather" CDR
George Benson "The Change" CDR
Cal Tjader "Morning" CDR

And don't forget to check out Imageyenation Multimedia's own Urban Alternatives DJ Crew again next week, late night Monday the 23rd into early morning Tuesday the 24th from 12 midnight to 2 a.m eastern time, broadcasting live on 90.7 FM WTCC with another episode of Dusty Grooves!

...all hell breaks loose.

Newsweek reported that some soldiers in Guantanmo flushed the Koran down the toilet in order to rattle prisoners.

AT LEAST nine people were killed yesterday as a wave of anti-American demonstrations swept the Islamic world from the Gaza Strip to the Java Sea, sparked by a single paragraph in a magazine alleging that US military interrogators had desecrated the Koran.

As Washington scrambled to calm the outrage, Condoleezza Rice, the US Secretary of State, promised an inquiry and punishment for any proven offenders. But at Friday prayers in the Muslim world many preachers demanded vengeance and afterwards thousands took to the streets, burning American flags.

Although the original report in Newsweek was small, it was re-broadcast by television networks such as al-Jazeera and al-Arabiya and in Pakistan it was quoted by Imran Khan, the cricketer-turned-politician, at a press conference. He said it would strengthen the impression that America’s War on Terror was against Muslims.

Way to go Newsweek!

So, I decide to take the little lady out to the movies, last Friday. We hadn't been since January-sometime, so I dismissed my previous vow to never-ever go to the movie theatre on a weekend-night. I should have listened to myself.

First, it's a god-damned zoo. Since I graduated high school, it's become common practice to hang out in front of the movie theatre and be as ugly, annoying, and rambunctious as possible. What happened to the mall? Adults sacrificed the mall to you little miscreants a long time ago - stay there. It's a veritable sea of 10-year old sluts and tiny Eminems. Every girl a mini-Lohan, parading about and making scenes of herself. I'd fear for the future of the world, if I didn't already believe the end is imminent.

Yet, once you navigate through the ugly-circus - your bad-time is just beginning. The past four of five times I've gone to the theatre - I've had it ruined by some numbnuts idiot in the audience. During 'Hellboy' the dude next to me not only let his cell phone ring - but he answered it. If it's an emergency - put that shit on vibrate and vacate the theatre before you answer. Answering your phone is completely unacceptable. How could you possibly think that's appropriate?

So what happened during 'Crash'? There was about 15 people in the theatre for the film, and 5 of them were under 10 years old. 'Crash' is a violent, ugly, emotional movie. It is long, it is wrenching, it is an adult mothereffing movie. It started at 10pm. I got my little lady balling her eyes out on my right, and some toddlers screaming and yelling behind me. Unacceptable. The movies are not a social event, and they are not a babysitters. If you got kiddies, go see a PG film - not a serious adult film. I don't need to hear giggling and infant-blabbering while a main character just died. Where is the shame?

Eff you movie theatres!

No longer just fodder for the rumour mill, the Fox network has officially announced that 'Arrested Development' is coming back for another 22 episode season next year...

"ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT is one of the best comedies on television. The decision to order another season becomes easy when you consider its amazing cast, creative brilliance, critical acclaim and advertiser appeal," said Peter Liguori, new President, Entertainment for Fox Broadcasting Company. "It's my first official pick-up since taking the job, and I think it's a great way to start."

Now fans everywhere, including both myself and Cereffusion, can fervently rejoice!

Oh, and that link also features an announcement about NBC's fall line-up as well. As if you actually watch anything other than Fox, PBS, MTV2 or Adult Swim.

Word has it that Kidrobot will be offering some dope little Jamie Hewlett designed Gorillaz figures to coincide with the May 24th release of the 'Demon Days' LP.

They look a little something like this...



You may have also noticed the Gorillaz tune "Feel Good Inc." in that iPod commercial with the rollerskaters ( I know I did, and I rocked out every time it came on ).

Well, for you iTunes enabled folks out there that means that "the machine" is behind these cats, so the Apple music store is supposedly offering a free download of a 'Demon Days' album sampler of some sort.

So, if you've got an iPod, or iTunes, or whatever the fuck all that noise is about you might wanna check that out.

A Baltimore man who was detained by police was pronounced dead after a struggle with a few guards.

A detainee at the Baltimore Central Booking and Intake Center died after a struggle with guards, and an investigation has been launched, officials said.

Family members say Raymond Smoot, 52, was beaten to death.

An officer had trouble getting Smoot back in his cell Saturday evening and called for backup, Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services spokesman Mark Vernarelli said. Smoot was injured in the ensuing struggle and taken to Johns Hopkins Hospital, where he died.

Damn...

I must say, this Friday the 13th was rather delightful:

Empress and I headed out to E.Longmeadow to get tattooed by our buddy Ray.


Empress got her very 1st tattoo (awww): The symbol for Scorpio! This is the ooey-gooey after-picture.

After getting done with Empress' tattoo, we took a little break. We ate some sammiches at a nearby deli and scandalized some toddlers at the park with my potty mouth, Empress' pronunced bosoms, and my tee. Oh, and there was a little kid there with a mohawk! How fuckin' rad is that?!


The lovely Empress photographed by moi as I swung.


Accidental titty shot (I was still swinging)!


Yes. I do.

Then it was my turn to get some work done. M.I.C. dropped by a bit later and succeeded at making me giggle along with Ray and Empress, leaving me at risk of fucking up my tattoo.


Ray at work on my shoulder.


"...Come and dance with me, Michael/ So sexy, I'm sexy..."


The end result. So purty!


Ray, the artiste!

Afterwards, Empress headed home and MIC and I chilled at his place. Lauren arrived shortly after and Ray joined us, as well. We watched "House of the Flying Daggers" and conjointly made silly commentary ("Does anyone EVER get laid in this?!").
All in all, it was a pretty cool day but I suspect it's just cause we all rock.

I've been burning Damian Marley's "Welcome To Jamrock" in to the ground for months. It's been in my headphones on a nearly constant basis and it's gotten some spins on Urban Alternatives as well.

Now, it's finally starting to break into the wider consciousness. It's getting some big play and cracking the charts pretty much everywhere.

And rightfully so, the tune is tuff!

I just got hip to the fact that there's even a video for the tune, and I figured I might as well hip y'all to it as well...

Damian Marley "Welcome To Jamrock"

Quicktime Hi

The video's a hefty 4.9 MB's so lower bandwidth folks might wanna right click the link and "save as" rather than waiting for the whole thing to stream.

Oh, and the Ghetto Youths website is asking folks to request the video on MTV and other appropriate video outlets, so you might wanna think about doing that as well. Cuz t'd be nice to see some rougher, more traditional, reggae tunes catching on in the states for a change rather than the watered down, nearly techno-pop style, dancehall stuff that's been so big lately.

'TIME' Magazine has a recent interview with Dave Chappelle from South Africa:

The first thing Chappelle wants is to dispel rumors—that he's got a drug problem, that he's checked into a mental institution in Durban—that have been flying around the U.S. for the past week. He says he is staying with a friend, Salim Domar, and not in a mental institution, as has been widely reported in America. Chappelle says he is in South Africa to find "a quiet place" for a while. "Let me tell you the things I can do here which I can't at home: think, eat, sleep, laugh. I'm an introspective dude. I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes. And I've been doing a lot of thinking here."

The picture he paints—and it seems a fairly honest and frank assessment— is of someone struggling to come to terms with a new position and power who's still figuring out how to come to grips with how people around him are reacting to the $50 million deal he signed last year with Comedy Central. Without naming specific characters, he seems to blame both some of his inner circle (not his family) and himself for the stresses created by last year's deal.

"There were things that overwhelmed me," he says. "But not in the way that people are saying. I haven't spent any of the money. All that stuff about partying and taking crack is not true. Why do I live on a farm in Ohio? To support my partying lifestyle?"

So - it appears as if Dave was in neither the Booby Hatch nor Rehab.

Good.

The Rev. Jesse Jackson thinks that Mexican President Vicente Fox has some 'splaining to do after getting a little "ethnic" about America's immigration policy.

Fox made the controversial comment Friday to a group of Texas businessmen meeting in Mexico. He criticized recent steps the United States has taken that the Bush administration said were aimed at curbing illegal immigration.

Fox discussed the role that many Mexican immigrants occupy in the U.S. economy.

Speaking in Spanish, he said, "There is no doubt that Mexicans, filled with dignity, willingness and ability to work, are doing jobs that not even blacks want to do there in the United States."

Jackson dismisses Fox's stereotypical viewpoint, claiming that "most poor Americans are not black, they're white."

Which is something Fox would know if he'd just watch MTV once in a while. Surely all those rap videos packed with expensive alcohol, truck jewelry, fancy SUV's and spinning rims would have disuaded him from his antiquated notions about race and class.

Answering a question made by an African priest, Pope Benedict XVI blamed many of modern Africa's problems on European colonialism during a speech to the Roman clergy last Friday.

"We trade in weapons, we abuse the treasures of this land, and we, Christians, must make sure that along with faith there be found the strength to resist the vices and to create a happy Christian Africa, a great continent of new humanism."

He has a point until he get's to the gobbledegook about "a happy Christian Africa." I guess he just doesn't realize that the exportation of his faith has historically been one of the most corrupting vices of all.

A public heath annoucement went out on Friday, to all the men of Thialand ( especially school-aged men ), to stop injecting their penis' with fluids!

According to recent reports, the United Nations could be moving to Brooklyn sometime soon.

The United Nations may temporarily have to move across the East River to gritty Brooklyn while it renovates its Manhattan headquarters, U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan said on Tuesday.

After looking at more than 100 properties, the world body found that only a site in downtown Brooklyn would be able to accommodate both U.N. staff and conferences, Annan said in a report to the U.N. General Assembly.

The New York Post is claiming that the UN actually snubbed the new World Trade Center building in favor of a few sites in downton BK.

The news report I heard on CNN last night interviewed a few people who all said that they thought it would be good to have the UN in BK, because BK is such a diverse place, filled with people from all over the world. I thought that was an interesting observation, especially when it was contrasted with the politico who said that the UN should go back to Europe or somewhere that "thinks more like they do." He also said that the US doesn't need the UN, nor did it ever need the UN.

If you ask me, Brooklyn's the best place to move the UN. Cause if that guy was there, he'd get his ass kicked.

I got this in an e-mail from some local peace activist folks and thought it sounded like something people in the region should be aware of...

Wood Burning Biomass Power Plant coming soon near you?

Did you know that...

This proposed plant would be located in Russell ( 30 minutes from Northampton ) and be vented through a 300 foot smoke stack over the Pioneer Valley.

This is being planned by 5 mostly out of state owners. ( Makes you wonder - if it is such a great idea - why don't they put it in their own community? )

It would burn 1 Million cords of wood a year.

The burning would be non-stop, 24 hours a day, all year round.

Much of the so called "wastes" it would burn are leaves or logging remains that otherwise would naturally compost and put nutrients back into the soil.

Other "wastes" it would destroy are live trees unsuitable for logging. These trees would otherwise be left growing in the forest.

They call this total destruction of the forests "improving the health of the forest"!

There is no planned closing of any coal or oil plants, so this Biomass would be in addition to other existing polluting plants - increasing overall emissions.

It would dump as much as carbon into the atmosphere yearly as would otherwise naturally break down in hundreds of years ( increasing global warming ).

Wood smoke contains over 100 chemicals - some like Benzo(a)pyrene cause cancer.

Many of us heat with wood already. Is adding the emissions from a million more cords of wood to the air healthy?

Trees naturally clean the air, removing carbon dioxide and giving oxygen. Destroying millions of trees without replenishing them will lead to dangerous carbon dioxide increase and a harmful reduction of oxygen in the air we breathe.

People in Russell would save in taxes 100 - 150$ per person, per year, but they will loose hundreds of times this as their homes resale values drop ( $25,000, $50,000 or more per house ).

The Westfield river water would be used for cooling the plant. What effect would this have on the amount of bacteria, pesticides and wastes in the river water? What effect on the fish, plants, forests and people down stream?

The Biomass factory would require 60 trucks per day ( each hauling 5,000 lbs of wood from MA, NY, CT, NH, VT, and ME ). That means that a big commercial truck would drive down Main Street in Russell every 8 minutes. This is a much higher level of noise and fumes than most people want to live with in their homes.

Residents of Stratton, VT ( where there is an existing Biomass plant ) said that there is nowhere in the town you can get away from the noise.

The EPA has said that they would not approve this amount of truck traffic near the wetlands or the river, yet the children and towns people who live all along this route will be breathing these harmful levels of diesel every day.

This truck exhaust and that from chipping a million cords of wood are not even included in their environmental impact figures.

Since Biomass wood burning has a very low efficiency ( in some cases as low as 20% ) this high gas and oil use would waste equal to a large percentage of the energy the plant would produce. In a world with dwindling petroleum reserves building a plant with the dependence on petroleum is foolish and irresponsible.

No effort has been made to plan a truly green business for this site. A wind plant would be ideally suited, have no toxic output and only benefit and profit the town instead.

The company planning this has made errors in the facts they publish. For example, they reported higher percentages of people surveyed in favor of the plant than actually exist. This is a 4th grade math error! ( Does this give you a lot of confidence in their figures for the safety of the plant and for the level of emissions and their effects on your health? )

The town board members have pointed out that they can not legally approve the plant if there are health hazards. Only 20 minutes total were allocated to public questions at the first hearing. More time will be available for public input at the next hearing, yet time is running out before the decision deadline in July.

The next meeting/hearing, open to everyone, will be held at Russell Elementary School, Tuesday, May 17th at 7:00 pm. Please come and voice your questions and concerns. This is a decision that will have a significant effect on the environment in our valley for the rest of our lives.

...because it sure doesn't sound good for you, me, the town of Russell, or anybody else currently living in The Valley.

Oh, you've already met?

That's right folks. May 20-22 are the dates for the official International Body Art Expo!

The INTERNATIONAL BODY ART EXPO is a 3 day Extravaganza of piercers, tattooists, and other body modifiers doing what they do best inside the main building of the Promowest Pavilion.

Outside is a 3 day music festival that includes 30 national and local bands, belly dancers, capoeira performers, flesh suspensions, a kavadi ceremony, contests, art exhibits, vegan/vegetarian/carnivorious food, and more!

If I weren't in China right now, I'd seriously consider going to this. It looks like one of the coolest events of the year. Regardless of the fact that it's taking place in Columbus, Ohio. If anyone goes, please bring back some amazing stories!

Though it's still technically a rumour, an E! Online columnist is claiming that Fox's 'Arrested Development' ( a.k.a. the funniest live-action show on television ) will be returning to the airwaves for at least another season, if not more...

Though they're still dotting I's and crossing T's on the final documents, I'm told Fox network and 20th Century Fox studio are "99.9 percent of the way there" to reaching an agreement on the new season. According to these highly placed sources, it looks very likely that Arrested Development will be coming back not only for a full season of 22 episodes but actually two full seasons of 22 episodes. How freaking fantastic is that?

The report also claims that Fox plans on moving the show to another time-slot, which sounds like a terrible idea to me. But at this point if I can at least get verrification that the show's coming back I'll be happy.

Charged with professional misconduct, British doctor Mahesh Rajeshwar admits that he played with his patient's boobies, but denies that his bouncing of her tittyballs was inappropriate.

She said: "He asked her whether she had ever been told that she was a voluptuous woman and, when she questioned what he meant by the term, he told her he meant she was a 'big woman with big bosoms'.

"He asked her what bra size she was, leaned towards her, held each breast in cupped hands, pushed them up and down and said 'these big bosoms are your problem'."

She added: "Ms B then left the room, being referred to as 'darling' by Dr Rajeshwar."

How he resisted giving her a hearty "bbbbbrrrrumskiiiii" and telling her it was some new-fangled examination technique I'll never know.

At least that's what it seems to have done for Kelcy Ruiz, a homeless crack addict who foiled a robbery at a Miami area restaurant, and was fatally stabbed in the process, earlier this week.

"Even though he was a forgotten member of society, he acted better than most people who are not homeless," said Detective Delrish Moss, spokesman for the Miami Police Department.

So eff your Wheaties, your energy drinks and your fancy power bars.

Now we know that the real recipe for heroism is cocaine and a little baking soda.

Urban Alternatives Playlist for 05/12/05

Lyrics Born feat. Evidence & KRS One "Pack Up ( Remix )" Quannum
Chief Kamachi & The JuJu Mob "No Chorus" Good Hands
Blend Crafters feat. M.F. Doom "Melody ( Remix )" CDR
Quasimoto feat. Madvillian "Closer" 'The Further Adventures Of Lord Quas' Stones Throw
Da Beatminerz feat. Wordsworth "Came 2 Do" Copter
The Pacifics feat. Pep Love "Situations" All Natural Inc.
Nottz Presents DMP "Mr. Smif N Wesson Man" Teamsta/Fast Life
C-Rayz Walz "R'Thentic" Definitive Jux
Afu-Ra "Poisonous Taoist" Life Force/Decon
Damian Marley "Welcome To Jamrock" CDR
Daily Plannet feat. El Da Sensai "Triple Beam ( CTL88 Mix )" All Natural Inc.
John Legend feat. Hezekiah "Ordinary People ( Illmind Remix )" CDR
Lyrics Born feat. Joyo Velarde "I Can't Wait For Your Love ( Limited Time Offer )" 'Same !@#$ Different Day' Quannum
Dwight Trible & The Life Force Trio feat. Sa-Ra "Equipoise" Ninja Tune
Natasha Beddingfield "These Words ( Plant Life Remix )" Giant Step
Robin Thicke feat. Pharrell Williams "Wanna Love You Girl" CDR
Feist "Inside and Out" 'Let It Die' Universal
Cut Copy "Saturdays" 'Bright Like Neon Love' Modular
Annie "The Greatest Hit" 'Annimal' 679
Landshark "Slippage 1.0" CDR
Tiombe Lockhart "Mr. Johnnie Walker" Giant Step
Plant Life "Beautiful Babies" 'Return Of Jack Splash' Counterflow
Kano feat. Demon "Reload" CDR
The Perceptionists "Blo" Definitive Jux
Blueprint "Big Girls Need Love Too" '1988' Rhymesayers
Quasimoto "Hydrant Game" 'The Further Adventures Of Lord Quas' Stones Throw
Splash feat. Jean Grae "Another Day" 'The Ripple Effect' Amp Truth/Hip Hop Site
Radix "Buildin'" CDR
Emanon "The Words" 'The Waiting Room' Shaman Work
The Pacifics "Magnificent" All Natural Inc.
MED feat. J Dilla "Push" Stones Throw
The Perceptionists "Let's Move" Definitive Jux
Afu-Ra "Sucka Free" Life Force/Decon
C-Rayz Walz feat. Vordul Mega "Street Reppin'" Definitive Jux
All Natural "Southside" All Natural Inc.

Background Sounds

Lyrics Born "I'm Just Raw" Quannum
Oh No feat. J Dilla & Roc C "Move Part 2" Stones Throw
Da Beatminerz "Mafia Don" Copter
Aloe Blacc "Want Me" Stones Throw
Wale Oyejide "Damn James" 'One Day... Everything Changed ( Instrumentals )' Shaman Work
Dwight Trible & The Life Force Trio "Waves Of Infinite Harmony" Ninja Tune
Blueprint feat. Aesop Rock "Lo-Fi Funk" Rhymesayers
Dwight Trible & The Life Force Trio feat. Sa-Ra "Equipoise" Ninja Tune
Hezekiah "Three Crates Of Porn" Soulspazm

Urban Alternatives Top 40 for 05/11/05

Artist/Title/Label

1. The Perceptionists "Blo" Definitive Jux
2. Exile & Lokey "Sinking Ship" Mixt Ape
3. Nottz Presents DMP "Mr. Smif N Wesson Man" Teamsta/Fast Life
4. Daily Plannet feat. El Da Sensai "Triple Beam" All Natural Inc.
5. Da Beatminerz "Mafia Don" Copter
6. MED feat. J-Dilla "Push" Stones Throw
7. All Natural feat. El Da Sensai "Keep It Movin'" All Natural Inc.
8. AZ feat. Nas "Serious" Koch
9. Zion-I "Bird's Eye View" Live Up
10. Chief Kamachi & The JuJu Mob "No Chorus" Good Hands
11. Living Legends 'Classic' Legendary ( LP )
12. M.F. Grimm "Gingerbread Man" F5/Day By Day Ent.
13. Oh No feat. J Dilla & Roc C "Move Part 2" Stones Throw
14. Blueprint "Boombox" Rhymesayers
15. Lyrics Born "I'm Just Raw" b/w "Pack Up ( Remix )" Quannum
16. Natasha Bedingfield "These Words" Giant Step
17. Zap Mama feat. Bahamadia & Lady Alma "Show Me The Way ( Seiji Remix )" Giant Step
18. M.I.A. 'Arular' XL ( LP )
19. Hezekiah "Soul Music" Soulspazm
20. C-Rayz Walz "R'Thentic" Definitive Jux
21. Aloe Blacc "Want You" b/w "Arrive" Stones Throw
22. Aesop Rock 'Fast Cars, Danger, Fire and Knives EP' Definitive Jux
23. Tiombe Lockhart "Mr. Johnnie Walker" Giant Step
24. Time Machine "Grime Machine" Glow In The Dark
25. Lyrics Born 'Same !@#$ Different Day' Quannum ( LP )
26. Platnum 'Rock Me' Sonar Kollektiv ( LP )
27. Medeski Martin & Wood "Midnight Birds ( Sa-Ra Creative Partners Remix )" Blue Note
28. The Perceptionists 'Black Dialogue' Definitive Jux ( LP )
29. Emanon "Count Your Blessings" Shaman Work
30. Z-Trip "Listen To The DJ" Hollywood
31. Quasimoto "Broad Factor" Stones Throw
32. Dorn The Overseer 'California Dream EP' Abstrakt Konfusion
33. Selan "Unconditional Love" Wonderwax
34. Sage Francis 'A Healthy Distrust' Epitaph ( LP )
35. Soul ID "Believe" One Track
36. Sole 'Live From Rome' Anticon ( LP )
37. Grayskull "Prom Quiz" Rhymesayers
38. Prefuse 73 feat. Ghostface Killah & El-P "Hideyaface" Warp
39. Aesop Rock "Fast Cars" Definitive Jux
40. RZA and Keb Darge 'The Kings Of Funk' BBE/Rapster ( LP )

Adds:

1. Afu-Ra "Poisonous Taoist" Life Force/Decon
2. The Pacifics feat. Pep Love "Situations" All Natural Inc.
3. Dwight Trible & The Life Force Trio feat. Sa-Ra "Equipoise" Ninja Tune
4. Quasimoto 'The Further Adventures of Lord Quas' Stones Throw ( LP )

And don't forget to check out Imageyenation Multimedia's own Urban Alternatives DJ Crew again next week, late night Wednesday the 18th into early morning Thursday the 19th from 12 midnight to 3 a.m eastern time, broadcasting live on 90.7 FM WTCC with another episode of Urban Alternatives!

So earlier tonight me and Emeyesi were talking about the whole Chappelle situation and how Cereffusion was all freaked out over rumours that Dave was in rehab in South Africa of all places.

Emeyesi was indignant. He posed the rehtorical question "why would dude have to go all the way to Africa just to get in rehab?" And demand that someone "show me a link!"

Well, sitting here in the front office at WTCC surfing the web while waiting for the buses to start running so I can go home I came across just such a link, and from a more then reputable news source.

Quoting an unnamed source "close to the situation," 'Entertainment Weekly' said Wednesday that the comedian flew to South Africa late last month and voluntarily checked himself into the undisclosed facility. There is no word on the nature of his ailment or how long he will be hospitalized.

So, it looks like the information are true, and Dave Chappelle has gone kooky in the cabbage.

Or maybe he's there boning up on his Nelson Mandella impersonation for a skit on Talib Kweli's next album or something?

Science has gone and fucked up now y'all! Researchers at Cornell University have built a robot that can repair itself and build copies of itself that build more copies of themselves! And thier next step just may be building ones with a built in "biological" imperative to do just that!

In a little more than a minute, a simple three-cube robot can make a copy of itself.

That offspring version can then make further copies. It's only a toy demonstration of the idea, but lead researcher Hod Lipson, of Cornell University in Ithaca, New York, has bold plans for these intelligent modular machines.

Of course they already want to send these things into space... so they can build themselves a fancy space-headquarters where they will assemble an army of robots which will then spread out and TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE!

Mankind, your days are numbered.

This is not a joke, apparently. Canadian-province named Minnesota Vikings runninng back Onterrio Smith was caught at the airport with a prosthetic penis. This penis is part of some wacky-drug test passing kit, which you have to see to believe (not work safe):

The WHIZZINATOR© is an easy to conceal, easy to use urinating device with a very realistic prosthetic penis. It has been extensively tested and proven to work under real-life conditions!

The WHIZZINATOR© is designed to be comfortably worn as an undergarment for extended periods of time!

The peepees come in "White," "Tan," "Latino," "Brown," and "Black."

Some jamoke out there was nice enough to scan both page one and page two of a two page magazine Q&A with Ghostface Killah and put it up on the internets for all to see.

"What else with me? Just chilling, right now. Still ( doing charity work ) feeding the babies out there in Africa. I'm a servant of God. I got to do that. That's my job."

He also builds on being "the first nigga to write rhymes, but a rhyme without no meaning," how "that radio-friendly shit" fucked up the game, how sample clearance has been the bane of his existence and his upcoming album with M.F. Doom & Pete Rock on production.

A 50-some-odd year old businessman, born Peter Robert Phillips Jr., who out of reverence for "the lord" changed his name to Jesus Christ is being denied a drivers license by the state of West Virginia who are refusing to recognize the authenticity of his divine epithet, thus provoking a lengthy court action.

"This all started with him expressing his faith and his respect and love for Jesus Christ," attorney A.P. Pishevar told The Associated Press. "Now he needs to document it for legal reasons."

Described by his attorney as a white-haired businessman in his mid-50s, Christ is moving to West Virginia to enjoy a slower lifestyle. He bought property and has a U.S. passport, Social Security card and Washington driver's licence bearing the name Jesus Christ.

Since he doesn't seem to mind a "slower lifestyle" I'd say it's time for Jesus to buy himself an ass on which to ride into the city or something. All I know is that in post-911 America a guy named after the leader of a fanatic Middle Eastern religious cult with a suspect identity sure as fuck ain't gonna get no breaks from the government.

You will need...

1 tube of refrigerated Chocolate Chip Cookie dough, any brand.

1 carton of Edy's brand Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice-cream.

Plop cookie-sized chunks of raw cookie dough on to a pan of some kind. Cook in an oven of some sort until hot.

While dough is cooking spoon ice-cream into a bowl.

Remove hot cookies from oven.

Dump a few hot cookies onto the waiting bowl of ice-cream.

Eat with spoon and enjoy the mixture of warm chocolaty goodness and cold creamy tastiness.

Be happy.

Thank me for suggesting it.

My cute new haircut!



Maybe now I'll be able to get a date to the prom (even though I've been outta High School for 5 years) and have a chance to get all prettied and glammed up in a dress?! Any high school boys...err guys...out there need a prom date? C'mon! Impress your friends! Go with a cool college chick! ME! Check out more random babbling from me....

Dusty Grooves Playlist for 05/10/05

Earth, Wind and Fire "Brazilian Rhyme ( Interlude )" 'All 'N All' Columbia
Jocelyn Brown "I'm Caught Up ( In A One Night Love Affair )" 'Somebody Else's Guy' Vinyl Dreams
Chaka Khan "I Know You, I Live You" 'What Cha' Gonna Do For Me' Warner Brothers
Shalamar "A Night To Remember" 'Friends' Solar
Peech Boys "Don't Make Me Wait" 'Positively 4th Street' 4th & B'way
Stevie Wonder "Never In Your Sun" In Square Circle' Tamla
Quincy Jones "Betcha' Wouldn't Hurt Me" 'The Dude' A&M
Slave "Just A Touch Of Love" 'Best Of...' Cotillion
Commodores "Machine Gun" 'Anthology' Motown
Kool & The Gang "Rhyme - Tyme People" 'Light Of Worlds' De-Lite
Mass Production "Can't You See I'm Fired Up" 'In The Purest Form' Cotillion
The Trammps "Disco Party" 'The Best Of...' Atlantic
Deniece Williams "Watching Over" 'This Is Niecy' Columbia
Phyllis Hyman "Under Your Spell" 'You Know How To Love Me' Arista
Ohio Players "Singing In The Morning" 'Pain' Westbound
War "All Day Music" 'All Day Music' United Artists
Mandrill "Solid" 'Solid' United Artists
Cymande "The Recluse" 'Promised Heights' Janus
Gil Scott-Heron "Grandma's Hands" 'Reflections' Arista
Herbie Hancock "Chameleon" 'Head Hunters' Columbia

Background Sounds

Patrice Rushen "Number One" 'Straight From The Heart' Elektra
MFSB "We Got The Time" 'Summertime' Philadelphia International
The Blackbyrds "Unfinished Business" 'Unfinished Business' Fantasy
Freddie Hubbard "Neo Terra ( New World )" 'The Best Of...' Columbia
Mongo Santamaria "Where We Are" 'Stone Soul' Columbia
Herbie Hancock "Chameleon" 'Head Hunters' Columbia

And don't forget to check out Imageyenation Multimedia's own Urban Alternatives DJ Crew again next week, late night Monday the 16th into early morning Tuesday the 17th from 12 midnight to 3 a.m eastern time, broadcasting live on 90.7 FM WTCC with another episode of Dusty Grooves!

Over the weekend Mayor Felipe Santolia and the members of the city council of the small Brazilian town of Espertantina officially declared Monday, May 9th, Orgasm Day in an effort to celebrate "orgasm in all its senses," and in hopes of improving the personal relationships of the townfolk.

''I've seen scientific studies that show when a woman is unloved, when her husband can bring her to orgasm, it affects all aspects of her life, her relationships with her children, at home, with the city and at work,'' Santolia said.

The people of the area, much like most of us I'm sure, have been celebrating Orgasm Day as an unofficial holiday for years. But now all that fondling, stroking, licking, sucking, poking, squirting, swallowing and splattering is fully approved of, and endorsed by, the local government.

Hooray!

C'mon. That could be any jerk, dude doesn't have optical zoom on his shit?

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here.
-Mitch Hedberg

A Texas cheerleader who goes by the name of "Mr. Pookie" sent a special video to Texas lawmakers to show them what "breaking it down" really is.

Mr. Pookie is heading up an effort to get the bill mentioned below thrown out.

Here is a snippet obtained from Austin authorities: BLAM!

Cheerleaders in Texas are no longer allowed to shake what their mamas gave them.

Texas lawmakers sent a message to the state's high school cheerleaders Wednesday: no more booty-shaking at the game.

The state's House of Representatives voted 85-55 to approve a bill that would forbid sexy cheers and give the Texas Education Agency authority to punish schools that allow "overtly sexually suggestive" routines at football games and other events.

The proposal must go to the Texas Senate for consideration.

Now maybe we will finally learn where Jenna Bush learned how to do "Da Butt."

At 8 PM on Saturday night MIT student Amal Dorai hosted the first and only "Time Traveler Convention" on the campus of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

"You only need one," he said. "The chance that anybody shows up is small, but if it happens it will be one of the biggest events in human history."

There's no dress code. No need to R.S.V.P. Refreshments (chips and dip) will be provided.

Dorai only asks his guests to show proof they come from the future: Bringing the cure for cancer, a solution for global poverty or a cold fusion reactor would suffice.

As of this writing I haven't been able to find any post-convention news, so I don't know if any strange characters like John Titor or Frank The Bunny showed up. I'll keep you posted if I hear anything though.

Proving that my people are a dying breed wherever we are, a long standing feud between the last two Jews in Afganistan has ended in death, and left only a single Israelite alive in the entire, now completely Muslim, country.

By the time the Taliban seized power in the mid-1990s only Levin and Simintov, the quarrelsome, tragi-absurd 'Odd Couple', remained.

The pair lived at opposite ends of the synagogue, refusing to speak except to exchange curses. Both were jailed and tortured by the Taliban. Each accused the other of betrayal.

'They beat me with cables and a Kalashnikov,' said Simintov. 'Ishaq paid them to put me in there. He told them I was a spy.'

Levin, when alive, made almost identical accusations.

In case you didn't know, I happen to be the last Jew in Springfield myself.

I pulled this little blurb about proposed legislation designed to reform digital copyright law from a bulletin posted by a "friend" on MySpace last night...

Support DMCA Reform - Help Pass HR 1201! ( p2p's )

Do you like to use peer to peer applications such as LimeWire, SoulSeek, or Kazaa? There is an important case before the Supreme Court right now that will be deciding whether peer to peer applications will be legal!

The DMCRA ( HR 1201 ) will codify the Betamax defense ( which allowed VCR's to be legal! ), ensuring the future existence of peer to peer applications!

Furthermore, the DMCRA will legally allow you to defeat imposed DRM ( Digital Restrictions Management ) for your own fair use. Do you want to be able to copy your iTunes songs that you paid for to *any* computer or device? Do you hate copy-protected CD's that you cannot rip to MP3? Then support this bill!

The EFF ( Electronic Frontier Foundation ) Action Center makes it *really* easy to contact your congress person on this issue. It even writes the letter for you!

The link is:

http://action.eff.org/site/Advocacy?id=115

Please repost. This is an important issue!

...and while I agree that the legislation is important, I don't see how it necessarily protects file sharing.

Yes, it makes certain that the development and distribution of file sharing software can't be considered an act of copyright infringement even if it's users share copyrighted files.

But it doesn't protect the file sharers themselves or take the act of copying and sharing out of the realm of piracy and put it back into the realm of fair use where it belongs.

It's a step in the right direction, and I recommend everyone visit the site and consider throwing their support behind this bill.

But there's still more to be done to right the wrongs perpetrated by the entertainment industry in the name of "intellectual property."

SPLASH

'The Ripple Effect'

Amp Truth

I'm often accused of being a hater... a music snob... an elitist. Of having impossibly high standards and only digging that "next shit" or that "weird music." But that's really not the case at all. I'm actually quite easy to satisfy. Just give me some dusty soul loops... some raw drum programming replete with the kind of kicks you feel in your solar plexus & the sort of snares that shatter neck-bones... glaze that in a sheen of 8-bit graininess... then top it all off with a cat who could easily be one of the homies from around the way spittin' that real man talk on the mic... and I'm good.

So it should come as no surprise that I'm thoroughly satisfied with Splash's debut full-length disc 'The Ripple Effect,' because the formula for success I just described is exactly what it delivers.

Produced mainly by Little Brother beatsmith 9th Wonder, with contributions from DJ Elementz, Picasso, MikEpisode, R. Star, K Black, Justus League affiliate Khrysis and Splash G himself, the beats maintain that soul-drenched boom-bap sound -- equal parts Pete Rock, DJ Premier and Prince Rakeem -- that has become a signature of the North Carolina underground scene, thanks to Little Brother and their Justus League crew, and is guaranteed to keep heads bobbing for the duration of the disc. On the mic Splash comes off as the type of real hip-hop loving twentysomething head you can find living in just about any city. A down to earth brother who has his mind right, works a j.o. and loves his family as much as he loves music. That dude who keeps Native Tongues tapes pumpin' in his walkman, rocks 'Mecca and the Soul Brother' in the whip, and still walks around with a stash of early '90s rap classics in a Jansport. The kind of cat that's far from crimey but still has an ear to the streets and can garner respect from the hood folk on the strength of his straight-up demeanor and grown man realism.

In that respect Splash bears more than just a passing resemblance to another Justus League affiliate, Spectac, sporting a style of flow that blends the soft-spoken mannerisms and urban-bohemian simplicity of a Q-Tip with the streetwise everymanisms, braggadocios emcee ignorance and on-beat-off-beat cadence of a Masta Ace. So assuredly Splash should appeal not only to the scene-making indieground hip-hop aficionados, but the average brothers on the street that might not be up on the underground scene, who came up listening to the Juice Crew All Stars, Native Tongues, Common, Pete Rock & CL Smooth and other "real hip-hop" of yesteryear and sometimes wonder what happened to the sound and spirit of "the good ol' days" as well.

At a brisk 49 minutes and 29 seconds in length, with the average selection clocking in at around 3 minutes a pop, 'The Ripple Effect' is a tight collection of 17 songs that a listener can slide into their respective audio apparatus and enjoy from beginning to end. This of course makes picking highlights a little more difficult, since the disc should be perfect background music for any hip-hopper's busy lifestyle. But even taking into account the over-all quality of the record as a whole, there are a few moments that best represent what makes it all so good.

Among the best of the best are... The album closer "Power Moves," where Splash rides a bouncy 9th Wonder production to the promised land of life affirming positivism. "Fake Ones," which finds Splash vividly dissing "clones" of every stripe over one of 9th's better Primo style boom-bap vamps to date. The stutter-step drum programming, Stevie Wonder-ish synthesizer loop, raw meat at the BBQ raps, and heavenly choral-vocal hook sample of "Sun Splash," which comes off like a ray of sweaty summer sunshine that 9th & Splash somehow trapped and burned to disc. And the Jean Grae assisted ode to the everyday struggle, "Another Day," which stands out as one of the album's more memorably dope production moments, all the more so for the fact that the mellowed out jazzy loops come courtesy of newcomer Picasso and not 9th Wonder.

But if I had to single out one track on the disc above all the others as a sure-shot pick that everybody just must hear... it'd definitely be the sublime "Feels Good." This is the joint where Splash gets all Ghostface on us, describing all the little details in life that make us feel "so good" over a buttery soul loop complete with a repeating vocal sample that accentuates the verse beautifully and switches up on the chorus turning the song into the perfect summertime feel-good anthem. And we all know it's not every day that hip-hop makes us feel good like that, don't we?

For fans of the Justus League, and especially the work of producer 9th Wonder, Splash's 'The Ripple Effect' should be a must have. It's firmly rooted in the North Carolina sound and school of thought pioneered by Little Brother and their ilk. And it's certainly quite the companion piece to the '3:16' project 9th recorded with Murs last year. But more than just that, for anybody craving a mature hip-hop record that deals with life in a realistic way, without any of the materialistic frills, cartoonish posturing and urban buffoonery of mainstream rap, or the verbose abstractions, suburban pathos and academic institutationalism of underground hip-hop, then this is the record for you. Splash is a real brother, rapping over real beats, about real shit that you can relate to in your real life. And that's just the sort of effect I'm sure a lot us would wouldn't mind seeing ripple across the surface of hip-hop on the whole these days.

The brain-child of house music producer Maurice Fulton and performance artist Mutsumi Kanamori, the "band" MU meld traditional dance music ( disco, house, electro, etc ) with punky sensibilites, raw noise, and free-association style lyrics and arrangements. The result is a funky-fresh take on the disco-punk and electro-clash sound favored by sleazy hipsters everywhere which Fulton describes as "punk music you can dance to."

They hit pretty big with us here at Imageyenation and Urban Alternatives late last year with the dancefloor burner "Paris Hilton," the first single from their new full length 'Out Of Breach.' And now, they're hitting you, with a video for that very song...

MU "Paris Hilton"

Quicktime

So check it out. Then proceed to "shake your body-body" and "move your body-body" with abandon!

From the "kooky talk" files comes a story from Anchorage, Alaska about Priests, contractors, sexual abuse, good manners, angels with great strength and Dracula! Yeah, you heard me right... I said DRACULA!

Fred May: But uh, you're Dracula?

Father Bob Bester: Yes. When I was twenty I would have drunk you without you're saying anything.

Fred May: Drinking the seamen, you would have just hold me down and drink the seamen?

Father Bob Bester: Uh-huh.

Fred May: Ohhh...

Father Bob Bester: But I've developed more manners.

Fred May: You also know, you also know that the angel that sits beside me has great strength and great authority. You also know that.

Father Bob Bester: Yes.

Fred May: He has great strength.

Father Bob: And I combat them often.

Fred May: Yeah, I knew that. I knew that.

Father Bob: Are you surprised that I'm Dracula?

I don't know how surprised you or Fred May were, but you can bet your sweet well mannered ass that I sure the fuck was! It's all just that surprising.

Folk-rockin' everyman and reputed "boss" Bruce Springsteen has gotten "the shaft" from the Starbucks coffee-shop chain because he sings about giving a prostitue "the shaft" on the song "Reno" from his new 'Devils & Dust' LP.

According to those involved in the matter, Springsteen was never involved directly in the potential deal, which was han­dled by Columbia Records. Columbia also refused to comment. However, those close to the deal—speaking on condition that they not be identified—told NEWSWEEK that Starbucks initially wanted a promotional link be­tween the new Springsteen CD and the Starbucks brand. But Columbia Records, apparently without consulting Springsteen, balked out of deference to the artist’s long­standing aversion to becoming a pitchman. The sources said Starbucks countered with a proposal to merely sell the CD at its out­lets. But after listening to the album, Star­bucks executives stopped negotiations after hearing "Reno."

Starbucks now refuses to carry the album -- the first in Springsteen's catalog to come with a "parental advisory" sticker -- in their popular in-store music kiosks.

I don't now if it's the right time, but maybe somebody should break it to them that "Born In The USA" wasn't exactly the pro-American anthem they probably thought it was either?

That's right, after being ridiculed for bragging about how he invented it, Al Gore will be presented with a lifetime achievement award for his three decades of contributions to the Internet by the organizers of the annual Webby Awards next month.

Vint Cerf, undisputedly one of the Internet's key inventors, will give Gore the award at a June 6 ceremony in New York.

"He is indeed due some thanks and consideration for his early contributions," Cerf said.

Well waddaya know? I guess Al Gore really is leading one hell of a charmed life. He was a congressman, the Vice President, the winner of the 2000 Presidential election, wearer of one boss beard, and now this!

Well to say this guy was "slightly struck by a police vehicle" is like telling me that Abner Louima was "partially violated in his anus," or Amadou Diallo was "lightly shot full of bullets."

Okay maybe that's a bit extreme but damn. Cops make the most out of some adverbs.

Hoodios in the middle cause you know we're gonna getcha!"

Here's the video for the Hip Hop Hoodios' song "Gorrito Cosmico."

Would you believe that Timbaland isn't just making cuts anymore, he's "getting cut" too?

That's right, the super-producer known just as well for his chubby physique as the dopeness of his beats has put himself on a new regimen designed to turn body fat into "thick, protruding muscles!"

"I don't want to be lean and cut. I want to be buck," says Timbaland during an otherwise quiet evening at his mansion. "I just like that look. When you see horses, or animals, like you see a monkey or a gorilla, like, they cut.

"It's a freaky look. When you keep working out, you get to be almost like an animal," he continues. "I like the veins popping out. I love all that."

Umm, yeah, what he said.

Anyway, all kooky talk aside, internet chatter seems to indicate that the new diet and excercise routine is doing Timmy's body good. At least one message board poster claimed they recently saw him on BET rocking "a smedium shirt" with "chest muscles on blast" and "arms all veined up!"

Yet and still, I can't help but wonder if silicone six-pack poster boy James Todd Smith didn't hip ol' Tim to the world of plastic surgery assisted body sculpting when the two collaborated on that "Headsprung" bullshit last year.

Urban Alternatives Playlist for 05/05/05

Portishead "Humming" 'Portishead' Go! Beat
Tricky "Aftermath" 'The Rebirth Of Cool Volume 2' 4th & Bway
Bjork "Possibly Maybe" 'Post' Elektra
Esthero "Breath From Another ( Orpheus Floating Mix )" Work
Pressure Drop feat. Constantine Weir & Martin Finchley "Silently Bad Minded ( Roni Size Vocal Mix )" Higher Ground/Columbia
Roni Size "Heroes" 'New Forms' Talkin' Loud/Mercury
The Chemical Brothers "Hey Boy Hey Girl" 'Singles 93-03' Astralwerks
Kosheen "Hide U ( John Creamer & Stephen K. Mix )" Kinetic
Sylk 130 "Seasons Change ( Philharmonix Mix )" Ovum
Wink "Sixth Sense ( Booty In The Butta Mix )" Ovum
Joe "The Love Scene ( Henry Street Club Mix )" White Label
Barbara Tucker "Stay Together ( Funky Piano Instrumental )" Strictly Rhythm
Black Magic "Freedom ( Make It Funky - Lil' Louis ''Freedom'' Remix )" Strictly Rhythm
House Of Gypsies "Sume Sigh Say ( Tee's Freeze Mix )" Freeze
Johnny "D" & Nicky P. present Henry Street "Open Up Your Eyes" 'Unreleased Project Part 2' White Label
Stardust "Music Sounds Better With You" Roule
Janet Jackson "Go Deep ( Masters At Work Spiritual Flute Mix )" Virgin
The Brand New Heavies "Sometimes ( MAW Extended 12'' Version )" Delicious Vinyl
Kenny Lattimore "Days Like This ( Lattimaw Soul House Mix )" Columbia

Background Sounds

Esthero "Heaven Sent ( Mad Professor Dub )" Work
DJ Rap "Bad Girl ( Bad Girl Comes Good Remix )" Columbia
Videodrome "Faceplant ( Origin Unknown Mix )" F-111
Wink "Sixth Sense ( Booty In The Butta Mix )" Ovum
Barbara Tucker "Stay Together ( Funky Piano Instrumental )" Strictly Rhythm
Janet Jackson "Go Deep ( Masters At Work Spiritual Flute Mix )" Virgin
Urban Species "Listen ( Louie's Master Mix )" Phonogram

Urban Alternatives Top 40 for 05/04/05

Artist/Title/Label

1. Daily Plannet feat. El Da Sensai "Triple Beam" All Natural Inc.
2. MED feat. J-Dilla "Push" Stones Throw
3. Exile & Lokey "Sinking Ship" Mixt Ape
4. Nottz Presents DMP "Mr. Smif N Wesson Man" Teamsta/Fast Life
5. The Perceptionists "Blo" Definitive Jux
6. All Natural feat. El Da Sensai "Keep It Movin'" All Natural Inc.
7. AZ feat. Nas "Serious" Koch
8. M.F. Grimm "Gingerbread Man" F5/Day By Day Ent.
9. Oh No feat. J Dilla & Roc C "Move Part 2" Stones Throw
10. Da Beatminerz "Mafia Don" Copter
11. Blueprint "Boombox" Rhymesayers
12. Chief Kamachi & The JuJu Mob "No Chorus" Good Hands
13. Natasha Bedingfield "These Words" Giant Step
14. Zap Mama feat. Bahamadia & Lady Alma "Show Me The Way ( Seiji Remix )" Giant Step
15. Zion-I "Bird's Eye View" Live Up
16. Living Legends 'Classic' Legendary ( LP )
17. M.I.A. 'Arular' XL ( LP )
18. Hezekiah "Soul Music" Soulspazm
19. Aloe Blacc "Want You" b/w "Arrive" Stones Throw
20. Lyrics Born "I'm Just Raw" b/w "Pack Up ( Remix )" Quannum
21. Aesop Rock 'Fast Cars, Danger, Fire and Knives EP' Definitive Jux
22. Tiombe Lockhart "Mr. Johnnie Walker" Giant Step
23. Time Machine "Grime Machine" Glow In The Dark
24. Platnum 'Rock Me' Sonar Kollektiv ( LP )
25. Medeski Martin & Wood "Midnight Birds ( Sa-Ra Creative Partners Remix )" Blue Note
26. The Perceptionists 'Black Dialogue' Definitive Jux ( LP )
27. Emanon "Count Your Blessings" Shaman Work
28. Z-Trip "Listen To The DJ" Hollywood
29. Quasimoto "Broad Factor" Stones Throw
30. Dorn The Overseer 'California Dream EP' Abstrakt Konfusion
31. Selan "Unconditional Love" Wonderwax
32. Sage Francis 'A Healthy Distrust' Epitaph ( LP )
33. Soul ID "Believe" One Track
34. Sole 'Live From Rome' Anticon ( LP )
35. Grayskull "Prom Quiz" Rhymesayers
36. Prefuse 73 feat. Ghostface Killah & El-P "Hideyaface" Warp
37. Aesop Rock "Fast Cars" Definitive Jux
38. RZA and Keb Darge 'The Kings Of Funk' BBE/Rapster ( LP )
39. The Reverend Al Green 'Everything's OK' Blue Note ( LP )
40. Kice... of course "Miracles" Smacks

Adds:

1. C-Rayz Walz "R'Thentic" Definitive Jux
2. Lyrics Born 'Same !@#$ Different Day' Quannum ( LP )

And don't forget to check out Imageyenation Multimedia's own Urban Alternatives DJ Crew again next week, late night Wednesday the 11th into early morning Thursday the 12th from 12 midnight to 3 a.m eastern time, broadcasting live on 90.7 FM WTCC with another episode of Urban Alternatives!

Comedian Dave Chappelle's popular 'Chappelle's Show' will not return to the airwaves on May 31, as scheduled. Instead, the show's production has indefinitely been suspended:

There is no reason for celebration, bitches. ABC News says that "Chappelle's Show" has been put on hold indefinitely. Comedy Central made the announcement today, with no clues as to why or when it will return.

"All parties are optimistic that production will resume in the near future," Comedy Central said in a statement. Yeah -- that doesn't exactly fill the entertainment void.

Thanks to the dudes over at Prefixblog you can check out streaming video of MIA's apperance on Jimmy Kimmel last night. Featuring Diplo on the wheels of steel.

(Apparently, the video won't be up for long so get crackin')

The generally under-appreciated Stephen Colbert will finally (finally!) get his own program on Comedy Central. They better not cancel that shit (or whatever they did) like 'Strangers With Candy.' He'll spoof heroes of mine like Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, and all those other primetime crackas:

"The Daily Show" regular will star each night in "The Colbert Report," likely starting in September. Comedy Central is revamping its schedule, recognizing that late-night programming is essentially prime time for its youthful audience.

"It's as if my character on `The Daily Show' got promoted," Colbert told The Associated Press.

He'll be a "very well-intentioned, poorly informed, high-status idiot, not unlike some people who have these shows in the real world," he said.

I usually love all things Neptunes related, but when former A Tribe Called Quest front-man Q-Tip dropped a new joint called "For The Nasty" featuring Pharrell and Busta Rhymes a few months back I was not enthused. It sounded like an old throw-away Neptunes production from the "jiggy" club era, and it just was not what I wanted to hear from Kamal and friends, especially friends like the Neptunes, at all.

But now this dude MetaFakta, one of the faceless cats from the Okayplayer message boards, has remedied that situation by coming with a really classy, smoothed out remix of "For The Nasty" sans the Neptunes production and rudimentary Pharrell injection. It sorta feels like what I might expect from certain UK remixers ( Yam Who come to mind ) smaked with a little Sa-Ra-ishness for good measure. And it comes off real sweet. Check it out for yourself...

Q-Tip feat. Busta Rhymes "For The Nasty ( MetaFakta's Bang Vibe Remix )"

When I downloaded the track I had to rename the file and add ".mp3" to the end of the file-name to get it to register as a valid audio file, so you might have to do the same. But don't sweat it, it's worth the extra two seconds work.

BLUEPRINT

'1988'

Rymesayers/Weightless

I turned 7 years old in 1988. I thought that "Walk Like an Egyptian" by The Bangles was the greatest song in the world. I admit it: I wasn't that cool. It's hard growing up in New Hampshire - I didn't even start watching MTV till 6th grade. My first hip-hop tape was Kriss Kross. I was missing out - I know. I wasn't Cereffusion then, so it barely counts.

Apparently, rapper-producer extraordinaire Blueprint really liked that year. I liked it too - but only because Mike Greenwell was runner-up for the MVP that season, and the Red Sox won the division. Also, Todd Benzinger played first base.

I was first introduced to Blueprint on Aesop Rock's 2002 'Daylight EP' with the track "Alchemy." His verse on that song was incredible, and his production was stellar as well. "Before you, get a reason to ever diss us - I'll drop an ill LP and disappear like Bobby Fischer." Aesop's my boy, but after Printmatic's verse I'd press "Back" on the stereo and listen again. "Every dog has his day, and even more so in rhyming - so I decided that I'd never play the fire hydrant." Ever since then, I've been checking for every release dude puts out - including the underrated Soul Position album and EP. In fact, I'd like to take this time to suggest that the song "A Night to Remember" on the 'Unlimited EP' is dangerously slept-on. Check it.

Needless to say, I was excited for this release. Especially after I played a couple cuts off the "Boombox" 12" on the Urban Alternatives radio program. Blueprint's paced yet aggressive cadence gives his lyrics a powerful punch. "You thought it was gun shots, the way my boombox knocks. Before you see me, you hear me coming down the block." The production on this album is lively and hard-hitting. You won't find any Kweli-slow jams love-you-baby la-la mumbo jumbo. Print comes hard, and sometimes he's mad.

He details a list of his critics' complaints on "Trouble on My Mind:" "Blueprint you spit too slow! Your vocals are mixed too low! The basslines in your beats be making my speakers blow! Aesop put you on track! RJ got you on his back! Stick to production! Stop trying to rap! Another good album with bad distribution, another hundred magazines my albums not reviewed in!" I suspect that '1988' will silence a whole slew of critics - as this album is as solid a hiphop CD you'll find this year. It's consistent and entertaining and it isn't bogged down with too many guests or too many songs.

"Lo-Fi Funk" featuring Aesop Rock is an obvious standout track with it's rousing production and brisk rapping. "I hate most commercial rap and the labels thats selling it. Almost as much as I hate the president. What kind of world are we living in? Where they kill Martin and Malcolm but they let this coward live?" A couple of the best tracks on the album are about broads, all different kinds of broads, too. Such as "Big Girls Need Love Too," where he raps about both skinny and heavy women, "You my plus-size princess," and "I know why you been skipping dinner - the white boys been telling you you need to be thinner." On "Kill Me First," Print gets real real serious about the issue of police brutality and violence over some stilted piano notes and dusty (oh so dusty) drums. "Lookin for the pigs that licked shots and got missin, you know it's chaos even if you don't hear it, because the air smells like gunsmoke and teen spirit."

Let's hope that Printmatic doesn't stick to his promise from "Alchemy" to disapear because this is definitely an ill LP. I'm sure dude has a lot of beats and lyrics left in him, and he hasn't yet received nearly enough of the shine that he deserves.

I used to come over with condoms for smashing you, but now I bring a snack for you. Twinkies always seem to get your ass in the mood, and when your done grubbing we go back to your room.

...and so should you!

So check out their video for "16 Military Wives." It's real slick, and real clever. It's in Quicktime, and a .torrent is also available at that link.

Synopsis: An anti-war video set inside a high-school Model UN. And this one dude has a real mean beard.

What a shame.

I mean how can he be "Defender of the Universe" when he can't bust out the fresh moves?

We are doomed. King Zarkon puts Justin Timbrlake to shame.

Thanks to new photographic techniques, a fragment of one of the earliest surviving copies of the Book of Revelation -- recently discovered as part of a hoard of manuscripts found outside Oxyrhynchus in Egypt -- has revealed that "the number of The Beast" may in fact be 616, not 666 as has long been contended by fire 'n' brimstone preachers and devil worshipers everywhere.

Professor David Parker, Professor of New Testament Textual Criticism and Paleography at the University of Birmingham, thinks that 616, although less memorable than 666, is the original. He said: "This is an example of gematria, where numbers are based on the numerical values of letters in people's names. Early Christians would use numbers to hide the identity of people who they were attacking: 616 refers to the Emperor Caligula."

Satanists remain unphased though, insisting that if 616 is universally adopted by Christians as the numerological representation of Satan that they'll switch too.

Dusty Grooves Playlist for 05/03/05

Blondie "The Tide Is High" 'Autoamerican' Chrysalis
Tom Tom Club "Wordy Rappinghood" 'Tom Tom Club' Sire
Circuitry starring Sam Bostic "Computer" 'Circuitry starring Sam Bostic' Atlantic
Duran Duran "The Chauffeur" 'Rio' Capitol
OMD "Enola Gay" CDR
Gary Numan "I Die: You Die" 'Telekon' Atco
Thomas Dolby "Cloudburst At Shingle Street" 'The Golden Age Of Wireless' Capitol
Eurythmics "Love Is A Stranger" 'Sweet Dreams ( Are Made Of This )' RCA
Men At Work "Who Can It Be Now?" 'Business As Usual' Columbia
Steve Miller Band "Abracadabra" CDR
The Cars "Magic" 'Greatest Hits' Elektra
Cyndi Lauper "Time After Time" 'She's So Unusual' Portrait
Culture Club "Time ( Clock Of The Heart )" 'Kissing To Be Clever' Virgin/Epic
Falco "Der Kommissar" A&M
ABC "When Smokey Sings" 'Alphabet City' Mercury
The Escape Club "Wild, Wild West" 'Wild, Wild West' Atlantic
Michael Wilder "Break My Stride" CDR
Tiffany "I Think We're Alone Now" 'Tiffany' MCA
Dead Or Alive "You Spin Me 'Round" CDR
Pat Bennetar "Love Is A Battlefield" CDR
Crowded House "Don't Dream It's Over" 'Crowded House' Capitol

Background Sounds

Debbie Deb "When I Hear Music" Jam Packed
Flock Of Seagulls "DNA" 'Best Of...' Jive
Various Artists 'Back To The Eighties' Fast Times
After The Fire "Der Kommissar" Epic
Various Artists 'Back To The Eighties' Fast Times
Rebbie Jackson "Centipede" Columbia

And don't forget to check out Imageyenation Multimedia's own Urban Alternatives DJ Crew again next week, late night Monday the 9th into early morning Tuesday the 10th from 12 midnight to 3 a.m eastern time, broadcasting live on 90.7 FM WTCC with another episode of Dusty Grooves!

So apparently in Hamburg, Germany, there has been an epidemic of...exploding toads?

More than 1,000 toads have just up and exploded, leaving scientists baffled..and some a little grossed out.

Both the pond's water and body parts of the toads have been tested, but scientists have been unable to find a bacteria or virus that would cause the toads to swell up and pop, said Janne Kloepper, of the Hamburg-based Institute for Hygiene and the Environment.

"It's absolutely strange," she said. "We have a really unique story here in Hamburg. This phenomenon really doesn't seem to have appeared anywhere before."

The toads at a pond in the upscale neighborhood of Altona have been blowing up since the beginning of the month, filling up like balloons until their stomachs suddenly burst.

Why do I feel there are some bored teenagers behind this?

I just had to take a little timeout from rocking out to...are you ready for this?

You sure you ready?

Seriously...you might have to sit down right now.

You sitting down?

Okay I'll stop teasing.

Thicke feat. Pharrell "Wanna Love You Girl"

You may get up and proceed to get yo' dance on.

With less than a year under it's belt since it's relase last November Mozilla's Firefox web-browser has been downloaded over 50 million times and is slowly eating away at the web dominance of Microsoft's Internet Explorer...

"It's funny how the counter just blows by 50 million without a care in the world, isn't it?" Mozilla developer Blake Ross wrote on the foundation's Web site. "But it's not just a number to us. It's a validation of half a decade of work, and the beginning of half a decade more."

I was initially resistant to Firefox after being wholly unimpressed with earlier Mozilla browsers and the Mozilla powered Netscape products. But when severe Windows related problems on my computer forced me to download and use Firefox I found that it provides a much better browsing experience ( the tabs people, the tabs ) than I was ever used to with IE. I've been using it as my browser of choice ever since, and I've never looked back. I'm using Firefox as I type this story.

I suggest you get with the program and download Firefox for yourself as soon as possible.

More than 50 million downloads can't be wrong.

When I first saw the commercials for the new PS2 game God of War, I was intrigued. From the little bits and pieces they show in the ad, one could gather (if they knew their history) that this was a story about Greek Gods and Goddess and in the long run, probably would not add up to the popularity of say GTA: San Andreas.

While I am not a video game player, I do enjoy watching the graphics and many of the story lines, and after looking at the website, I must say that this game looks pretty cool. It follows the story of Kratos, a ruthless Spartan warrior who makes a pact with Ares, the god of war, in order to save his life. He becomes a bloodthristy killer who now searches for the secrets of the other gods in order to use them against and eventually kill Ares.

Apparently, the game is great except for the fact that it's not that difficult. Going based on a review of it, God Of War is a pretty easy game. At any rate, the graphics and story line are still pretty amazing and it definitely looks like something a gamer would want to check out.

Belguim has helped a young Iraqi girl with injuries caused by the U.S. invasion of Iraq...

After, sending her home they sent up the bill...

If we invade, then we should pay...

For those of you who have not heard I am living in hell...
Also, known as Pittsfield, MA, the land of no return...

I (well, my recently deceased mother) has been receiving mail about reserving her Pope memorabilia...

One in particular: Pope John Paul II Collectible Honors a True Man of God! plate...

Why would people buy this? Its not like he was Darth Vader or Obi-wan...
Now those are the collector plates I am really look for...

18 days and counting...

Wayne Glaude, 22, of Woonsocket, was arrested for offering a woman a taste of his meat last Friday in Providence, Rhode Island.

Glaude, who works at a meat company, tried to strike a deal with the undercover officer, according to Detective Capt. Luke Gallant.

"He didn't have any money, and had a couple of nice T-bones sitting at home," Gallant said.

I hope this trend of offering meat for sexual favors catches on in other cities.

I can picture it now, some dumbass driving down the streets of Springfield leaning out the window of his car yelling "Hey honey, if you show me your rack I'll show you my rack... of LAMB!"